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THE HONOUR OF THE BAR.

TO THE EDITOR OF PUNCH.

SIR,—­As the London Charivari is recognised all the world over as the universally acknowledged organ of the legal profession in England, will you permit me to make an explanation nearly touching my professional reputation.  A few days since, a Correspondent to one of your contemporaries complained that the leading Counsel of the epoch were in the habit of accepting fees they never intended to earn.  He more than hinted that we Barristers were prone to receive cheques for briefs that we knew we would never attend to; that we were ready to be paid for being present in one Court, when we knew that we were sure to be engaged in another.  And so and so on.

Now there can be but one interpretation to such a statement.  I am reluctantly compelled to believe that some learned friend or other, annoyed at my increasing practice, has levelled this blow at me, with a view to lessening my prosperity.  Will you let me say then, once and for all, I have never received fees for briefs to which I have paid no attention; that my presence has never been required in one Court when I have been professionally engaged in another?  My Clerk, PORTINGTON, who has been with me for many years, will tell anyone interested in the matter, that I am most careful not to accept papers promiscuously.  In conclusion, anyone who knows me will refuse to believe that I have ever accepted more business than that to which I have been able to give proper attention.  It is not my custom to crowd my mantelpiece with papers appealing to me in vain for my consideration.  At this moment I have not a single matter demanding my care, except a bundle sent in to me three years ago by a madman.

Believe me, yours most truly, (Signed) A BRIEFLESS, JUNIOR. Pump-Handle Court, January 18, 1892.

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TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING.—­Mr. Punch is glad to congratulate everybody on the improvement in the health of JOHN LAWRENCE TOOLE, comedian.  It may be remembered that Mr. TOOLE, being at Mr. EDMUND ROUTLEDGE’s house, and suddenly feeling unwell, was pressed by his kind host to stay there the night.  He accepted and stopped about three weeks.  Mr. J.L.  TOOLE recommends the “ROUTLEDGE Treatment” to everybody.  He is enthusiastic on the subject.  So many persons have acted on his advice, and when calling on Mr. ROUTLEDGE, in quite a casual and friendly way, apparently, have been suddenly taken worse, that the benevolent publisher who feels deeply the necessity of showing these distressing visitors at once to the door, wishes it generally to be known that “Open House” is closed as a “Casual Ward,” and that he is not at home to anybody; except bona fide visitors who will give their written word, under penalties, not to be taken ill during their brief interview with him.