* * * * *

MR. BAYLY’S COAST-SPECTRE.

“It is scarcely credible that, at this moment, the elaborate telegraphic system of this country has little or no connection with our Lighthouses and Coastguard Stations.”  So said, quite recently, the Illustrated London News in an excellent article, appropriately entitled, “A Flagrant Scandal.”  It is scarcely credible, and creditable not at all.  “Shiver my timbers!” cries Mr. Punch (in a nautical rage), “if there is a purpose for which JOHN BULL should eagerly utilise his ‘telegraphic system,’ it is for the saving of his sailors’ lives.”  Mr. ROBERT BAYLY, of Plymouth, wrote a letter to the Times, “giving some instances in which lamentable loss of life was solely due to the inability of the Lighthouse-keeper or Coastguard to communicate in time with the nearest life-boat station.”  Think of that, ye British Gentlemen, who sit at home at ease.

Aren’t you ashamed of yourselves at the very thought of it!  Well may “T.  LAWRENCE-HAMILTON, M.R.C.S., late Honorary President of the Fishermen’s Federation,” say, in an indignant letter to Mr. Punch:—­“Perhaps ridicule may wake up some of our salary-sucking statesmen, and permanent, higher, over-paid Government officials, who are legally and morally responsible for the present state of chaotic confusion in which these national matters have been chronically messed and muddled.”  Perhaps so, my valiant M.R.C.S.  And, if so, that “ridicule” shall not be wanting—­on Mr. Punch’s part, at least.  Here goes, for once:—­

IMPORTUNATE MR. BAYLY.

A SONG OF A SHAMEFUL SEA-COAST SCANDAL.

AIR—­“Unfortunate Miss Bailey.”

  A Captain bold, of British birth, might bless his stars and garters,
  That if he must be wrecked at all, it should be near home quarters;
  But Britons’ conscience smites them when we hear of lives lost daily
  For want of—­some electric wires!  So says stout ROBERT BAYLY. 
    Ah, BOB BAYLY!  Importunate BOB BAYLY!

  At night, when he retires to rest, is BULL, the brave and clever,
  Troubled with thoughts of Jack Tars lost for want of care?  No, never. 
  But sure, JOHN’s nightcap would wag wild, his ruddy cheek wax palely,
  If he only realised the tale as told by Mr. BAYLY. 
    Ah, R. BAYLY!  Importunate R. BAYLY!

  Avaunt, BOB BAYLY!  So will cry officials cold and steely,
  Who do not wish to be disturbed while pottering genteely,
  At their old business of Red Tape circumlocuting gaily,
  By tales of wrecks for want of wires, as truly told by BAYLY. 
    Oh, R. BAYLY!  Importunate R. BAYLY!

  Importunate?  And quite right too!  This shame must once for all close,
  Or Punch will plant some stirring kicks on—­well, somebody’s
      small-clothes. 
  The scandal’s getting far too grave, alas! to sing of gaily,
  But Punch in earnest will back up brave HAMILTON and BAYLY! 
    Go it, BAYLY!  Be importunate still, BOB BAYLY!