“When you are in the company of ladies, beware of silliness.  It is true they will sooner forgive foolishness than ill manners, but you will, of course, avoid both.  I know one young gentleman of great promise, who adopted the opinion that in order to qualify himself for female society, he had only to become as foolish as possible, while in their presence.  That young man soon lost the favor of all whose friendship might have operated as a restraint; but unwilling to associate with the despicable, and unable to live in absolute solitude, he chose the bottle for his companion; and made himself, and the few friends he had, miserable.

“Nothing, unless it be the coarsest flattery, will give more offence, in the end, than to treat ladies as mere playthings or children.  On the other hand, do not become pedantic, and lecture them on difficult subjects.  They readily see through all this.  Neither is it good manners or policy to talk much of yourself.  They can penetrate this also; and they despise the vanity which produces it.  In detecting deception, they are often much quicker than we apprehend.

“A young gentleman, in one of the New England States, who had assumed the chair of the pedagogue, paid his addresses to the beautiful and sensible daughter of a respectable farmer.  One day, as she was present in his school, he read to her a hymn, which he said was from his own pen.  Now it was obvious to this lady, and even to some of the pupils, that the hymn was none other than that usually known by the name of the ‘Harvest Hymn,’ modified by the change of a few words only.  How much effect this circumstance might have had I cannot say with certainty; but I know it disgusted one, at least, of the pupils; and I know, too, that his addresses to the lady were soon afterwards discontinued.

“A young man who would profit from the society of young ladies, or indeed from any society, must preserve a modest and respectful spirit; must seek to conciliate their good will by quiet and unostentatious attentions, and discover more willingness to avail himself of their stock of information, than to display his own knowledge or abilities.

“He should observe, and learn to admire, that purity and ignorance of evil, which is the characteristic of well-educated young ladies, and which, while we are near them, raises us above those sordid and sensual considerations which hold such sway over men, in their intercourse with each other.  He should treat them as spirits of a purer sphere, and try to be as innocent, if not as ignorant of evil as they are; remembering that there is no better way of raising himself in the scale of intellectual and moral being.  But to whatever degree of intimacy he may arrive, he should never forget those little acts of courtesy and kindness, as well as that respect, and self-denial, which lend a charm to every kind of polite intercourse, and especially to that of which I am now speaking.