She stopped and Agatha was silent for a few moments, although she was moved. She was tired and felt lonely and that life was hard. Instinctive longings that she had fought against awoke. She wanted somebody to shelter her and brush her troubles away. Mabel had her husband, whom she loved; but she had chosen a rocky path that she must walk alone.
“I hope Jake is getting on well in British Columbia,” she said. “I suppose you hear from him?”
“He writes to us regularly and is getting on very well. Finds his work absorbing and sees a chance of promotion, but it’s obvious that he’s not satisfied. I don’t know if you feel flattered, but he can’t forget you.”
Agatha stopped her. Jake was Mrs. Farnam’s cousin, and had been a teacher of science until he got a post at a mine. He had helped Agatha in her studies, and she blamed herself for imagining that common interests and ambitions accounted for their friendship. In fact, it was something of a shock when, on getting his new post, Jake had asked her to marry him.
“I’m not flattered but sorry,” she replied. “I liked Jake very much—one was forced to like him—but after all that doesn’t go far enough. And, you see, I didn’t know—”
“I believe you really didn’t know. It would be ridiculous to admit this about any other girl, but, in a way, you’re not quite normal. You’re too absorbed in your occupation and haven’t a woman’s natural feelings. You took all Jake had to give and were surprised and half indignant when he asked something from you.”
Agatha wondered rather drearily whether Mrs. Farnam’s reproaches were not justified; but the latter went on: “Perhaps, however, your coldness is encouraging. I don’t suppose you have met anybody you liked, or felt you could like, better than Jake.”
“No,” said Agatha, and then hesitated. Since Mabel was capable of giving her cousin a hint, she saw that frankness was needed and remembered the fortnight she had spent with Thirlwell by the lake. She had thought about him since; indeed she had done so oftener than she knew.
“I shall never marry Jake,” she said. “Just now it seems unlikely that I shall marry anybody else.”
Mrs. Farnam made a sign of disappointed acquiescence. “Very well! That’s done with. If there’s anything more to be said about your plans for the next few months, your brother will say it. I’m glad George is coming, because he’s sensible and will deal with you firmly. Now I’ll go and get supper.”
She left Agatha thoughtful. George, whose business occasionally brought him into the neighborhood, had written to say that he was coming and would stop the night, and Agatha wondered what he wanted to talk about. He would certainly give her good advice, but they seldom saw alike and she braced herself for a struggle, although she was fond of her brother.