As to ARRIUS, I wish I’d ’ave knowed ’im, no doubt we’d ’ave palled up
      to-rights,
  And ‘ave chivied CAT ULLUS together, like one o’ them broken-nosed frights
  Saps call elassick busts; stone Aunt Sallies fit only for cockshies, dear
      boy,
  Wich to chip out my name on their cheeks is a barney I always enjoy.

  Your Cockney eternal?  No doubt!  And a jolly good job, I should say;
  It’s much more than yer conkey old Classicks, for they ’ave about ’ad
      their day. 
  You may stuff college ganders with all the compulsory cram as they’ll
      carry,
  And then it’s yer fly bird as scores off ’em, whether that’s ARRIUS or

’ARRY.

[Footnote 1:  See article, “’Arry in Rome and London,” in last Number of Punch.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  DRAWING THE LINE.

Judge.  “REMOVE THOSE BARRISTERS.  THEY’RE DRAWING!”

Chorus of Juniors.  “MAY IT PLEASE YOUR LUDSHIP, WE’RE ONLY DRAWING—­PLEADINGS.”

("Mr. Justice DENMAN said that he saw a thing going on in Court that he could not sanction.  He saw Gentlemen of the Bar making pictures of the witness.  Let it be understood that he would turn out any Gentleman of the Bar who did so in future.”—­Daily Paper, Thursday, December 17.)]

* * * * *

A DIPLOMATIC ON DIT.

  Where LYTTON lately ruled supreme,
    A Marquis will direct affairs. 
  Congratulations, then, to him
    And to ourselves in equal shares. 
  But stranger paradox than this
    Most surely there has never been,—­
  We send a most distinguished man,
    Yet only put a Duffer in!

* * * * *

THE BISHOP AND THE SEA-SERPENT.

["The Bishop of Adelaide, in writing to a colonial friend, states that while riding along the sea-beach he came across a dead sea-serpent, about 60 feet in length....  The Bishop describes his ‘find’ as the most peculiar animal he has ever seen.”—­Daily Paper.]

  The Bishop saw the Serpent
    A lying very near—­
  “Now, in the name of truth,” says he,
    “We’ll have no lying here.” 
  It was the Great Sea-Serpent,
    Stretched out upon the shore—­
  It measured—­well, no matter what,
    It was all that, and more.

  “He’s dead! the Great Sea-Serpent!”
    The Bishop cried, with glee,
  “And now there is no Serpent
    Within my present See.” 
  ’Tis scotched, not killed; for, sure as fate,
    We’ll fifty bet to five,
  That, when the Season’s dead, The Great
    Sea-Serpent will revive.

* * * * *

HIS GREATEST PLEASURE.

    ["My greatest pleasure will be to think of you, Mr.
    ROGERS.”—­Grossly unfair extract from the Newspaper Report of
    Mr. Goschen’s Speech on Girls’ Education.]