We are told how to give and receive invitations,
And eke how a table may need decorations.
We agree with the author who says when
you dine,
It is very much better to stick to one
wine,
Be it ruddy Bordeaux or the driest Champagne,
Let the latter be cool but your ice is
no gain.
While on coffee and tea he is sound as
a bell,
With all dexterous dodges for making them
well.
No man ever escaped—to a cook
who did wrong,
For his art ranks so high, said MENANDER’s
old song.
And the ancients we know loved both oysters
and pullets,
When the [Greek: oinos kekramenos]
slipped down their gullets.
While here is a man to have joined them
when roses,
In classical fashion, were cocked o’er
their noses.
So we’ll take leave of CHILD and
his capital book,
With a “Bon appetit” to the
gourmet and cook.
* * * * *
A CHRISTMAS CAROL.—(BY A DISAPPOINTED CHURCH-DECORATOR.)
[Illustration]
When rustic woman stoops to folly,
And finds too late that Curates
flirt;
It pains, ah! sharper than the holly
Whose spikes her pretty fingers
hurt.
Pleasant is pulpit-decoration,
And altar-ornamenting’s
sweet,
When girls get lost in contemplation
Of parson-whiskers, trim and
neat.
Most pleasant too the cheery chatter
Of woodland parties, in the
snow,
When gathering—well, well,
no matter!
No more I’ll
hunt for mistletoe.
No more I’ll stand and hold the
ladder
For reverend gentlemen to
mount.
Ah me! Few memories make me madder,
Though merrier ones I may
not count.
Goose! How about those steps I’d
linger!
Muff! How I bound my
handkerchief
Last Christmas Eve, about his finger,
Pierced by that cruel holly-leaf!
And now he’s going to marry MINNIE,
The wealthy farmer’s
freckled frump,
A little narrow-chested ninny!
Into Pound’s pond I’ll
go and jump!
Yet no, Miss MIGGS and he might chuckle,
I know a trick worth two of
that;
I’ll up and take that fool, BOB
BUCKLE,
I hate him, but his farm is
fat.
When rustic woman stoops to folly,
And finds e’en Curates
can betray,
What act can aggravate the “dolly”
Whose wealth has won his heart
away?
The only art her grief to cover,
Enable her to lift her head,
And show her false white-chokered lover
She won’t sing
“Willow,” is—to wed!
* * * * *
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
There is one line in our Mr. DU MAURIER’s fascinating and fantastic novel, Peter Ibbetson, which every author should frame and hang up before his eyes in his study. ’Tis this, and ’tis to be found at page 217, Vol. ii.:—