Miss T. (coming out from behind).  Poppa, they’ve fixed up our breakf—­(Sees CULCHARD, and turns away, covering her face).  Don’t you turn your head in this direction, Mr. CULCHARD, or I guess I’ll expire right away!

Culch. (obeying, wounded).  I confess I did not think a few mosquito-bites would have quite such an effect upon you!

Miss T. You’re vurry polite, I’m sure!  But I possess a hand-mirror; and, if you cann’t bear to look me in the face, you’d better keep away!

Culch. (takes a hasty glance, and discovers, with a shock, that she is almost as much disfigured as himself).  Oh, I—­I wasn’t—­(With an effort of politeness.) Er—­I hope you haven’t been inconvenienced at all?

Miss T. Inconvenienced!  With haff-a-dozen healthy mosquitoes springing a surprise party on me all night!  I should guess so. (Noticing C.’s face.) But what in the land have you been about?  Well, if that isn’t real tact now!  I reckoned I’d been dealt a full hand in spots; but now I’ve seen you, I guess there’s a straight flush against me, and I can just throw up.  But you don’t play Poker, do you?  Come along in, Poppa, do. [She goes in with Mr. T.

Culch. (alone, disenchanted).  I could not have believed any amount of bites could have made such a terrible difference in her.  She looks positively plain!  I do trust they’re not permanent, or really—! [He gazes meditatively down on the lapping water.

* * * * *

“WILLIAMS ON WHEELS.”

[At Bridgend County Court, on the 16th inst., Judge WILLIAMS had to hear an action in which 50l. was claimed as compensation for damages caused by careless driving.  The evidence of one important witness having still to be heard when the hour arrived for the Judge to leave by train, his Honour, with the legal advocates and the remaining witnesses, travelled together to Llantrissant, the witness giving his evidence en route.  On reaching Llantrissant, Judge WILLIAMS gave his decision in the station-master’s office, finding for the plaintiff.—­Daily Paper.]

SCENE—­Interior of a Saloon Carriage, shortly after the innovation started by Judge WILLIAMS, has come into general favour.  Judge seated on portmanteau at one end.  Parties to suit glare at each other from opposite sides.  Usher, Witnesses, Counsel, &c.

Judge._ Usher, that is the third time the engine-driver has blown his whistle!  Tell him that on the very next occasion I shall send him to prison for contempt of court.

Usher. Yes, m’lud. [Exit Usher.

Facetious Counsel. The noise is so deafening, we might even call it a “part-heard case.” [Laughter.

Judge. Well, let’s get on. (To Witness.) You say you actually saw the prisoner mix the arsenic with the Madeira?