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An Elevating Exhibition.

At the Alhambra, the Little GEORGIA MAGNET ought to attract thousands.  Three heavy swells seated on a chair she can lift, chair and all, so that the little lady’s exhibition of power must have a wonderfully elevating effect on all who come within the reach of her influence.  At all events, there can be no doubt that her magnetic force will give the Alhambra itself a tremendous lift.

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“I can’t write seasonable verses,” replied Our Festive Poet, “until I’ve had my Christmas dinner, and then I’m mincepie-r’d!”

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[Illustration:  EXCELSIOR!

She. “I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE A MUSICIAN; HERR MUeLLER.”

He. “A MUSICIAN?  ACH, NO—­GOTT VORPIT!  I AM A WAGNERIAN!”]

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AN IMPERIAL STAGE-MANAGER.

[Illustration:  Only in Play!]

“GUILLAUME DEUX,” says the Figaro, “prend tres au serieux sa tache de moralisateur.” He is his own Licenser of plays, and, it may be presumed, collars the fees for doing the official Licenser’s work; that is, if there be a department of this nature in the Lord Chamberlain’s Office.  And His Imperial Highhandedness not only is his own licenser, but is a self-appointed Stage-Manager, for, continues the Figaro, “Il a prescrit que, dans une piece moderne, LE NOUVEAU MAITRE, une scene un peu violente ne fut pas jouee a l’avant-scene, mais au fond du theatre.” If His Imperial Majesty should permit some of IBSEN’S plays to be performed, Ghosts for example, or Hedda Gabler, no doubt most of the dialogue would be given right at the back of the stage, out of ear-shot of the audience.  In ordinary dramas the Villain who may have to use strong language, or in farce the Eccentric Comedian who frequently has to utter more or less playfully a meaningless “big big D,” would by Imperial command be compelled to “retire up” to deliver himself of the expletive, and then would have to “come down to the front” and continue the stage-business.  But, not satisfied with merely giving the above stage-directions, His Imperial Majesty “est alle samedi s’assurer en personne que ses ordres etaient bien executes.” No dodging such an Emperor as this.  How would Herr Von IRVING and Herr TOOLE like this personal supervision?  And how about Herren JONES, PINERO, W.S.  GILBERT and a few others, who would not particularly enjoy having their stage-directions upset by even an Imperial amateur.  The next move of GUILLAUME DEUX will be to make himself honorary prompter, and it may be to cast himself for the leading parts.

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OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.