The truth of the matter is, that Master Simon has met with a sad rebuff since my Christmas visit to the Hall.  He used at that time to be joked about a widow, a fine dashing woman, as he privately informed me.  I had supposed the pleasure he betrayed on these occasions resulted from the usual fondness of old bachelors for being teased about getting married, and about flirting, and being fickle and false-hearted.  I am assured, however, that Master Simon had really persuaded himself the widow had a kindness for him; in consequence of which he had been at some extraordinary expense in new clothes, and had actually got Frank Bracebridge to order him a coat from Stultz.  He began to throw out hints about the importance of a man’s settling himself in life before he grew old; he would look grave whenever the widow and matrimony were mentioned in the same sentence; and privately asked the opinion of the squire and parson about the prudence of marrying a widow with a rich jointure, but who had several children.

An important member of a great family connection cannot harp much upon the theme of matrimony without its taking wind; and it soon got buzzed about that Mr. Simon Bracebridge was actually gone to Doncaster races, with a new horse, but that he meant to return in a curricle with a lady by his side.  Master Simon did, indeed, go to the races, and that with a new horse; and the dashing widow did make her appearance in her curricle; but it was unfortunately driven by a strapping young Irish dragoon, with whom even Master Simon’s self-complacency would not allow him to enter into competition, and to whom she was married shortly after.

It was a matter of sore chagrin to Master Simon for several months, having never before been fully committed.  The dullest head in the family, had a joke upon him; and there is no one that likes less to be bantered than an absolute joker.  He took refuge for a time at Lady Lillycraft’s, until the matter should blow over; and occupied himself by looking over her accounts, regulating the village choir, and inculcating loyalty into a pet bullfinch by teaching him to whistle “God save the King.”

[Illustration:  “God save the King!”]

He has now pretty nearly recovered from the mortification; holds up his head, and laughs as much as any one; again affects to pity married men, and is particularly facetious about widows, when Lady Lillycraft is not by.  His only time of trial is when the general gets hold of him, who is infinitely heavy and persevering in his waggery, and will interweave a dull joke through the various topics of a whole dinner-time.  Master Simon often parries these attacks by a stanza from his old work of “Cupid’s Solicitor for Love:” 

    “’Tis in vain to woo a widow over long,
      In once or twice her mind you may perceive;
    Widows are subtle, be they old or young,
      And by their wiles young men they will deceive.”

[Illustration:  Tossing the Pancake]