“I have heard say that a man mustn’t thrash his wife with anything thicker than his own thumb.  That’s as may be—­and I do recollect when the first lieutenant wanted to cut off the men’s hair that the purser told him that it was felony, under the Act of cutting and maiming.  I don’t know whether the first lieutenant would have made a felony or not; but this I’m sartain of—­he’d have made a mutiny.  You desarve no mercy, and you shall have none.  This pigtail of mine shall be what I shall use upon you, and if the colt is heavy, recollect you cut it for yourself; and as you may not be able to hear what I say by the time I have done with you, I’ll just tell you now.  I’ll point the end, and work a mouse on this pigtail of mine, and never part with it.  I’ll keep it for your own particular use, and for nobody else’s; and as sartain as I come back, so sartain every time I come you shall have a taste of pigtail without chewing’, my lady’s ladies’ maid.”

Having made this uncommon long speech, to which my mother offered no reply, her eyes being fixed in terror upon the brandished tail, which was nearly as thick as her own arm, my father proceeded to put his threats into execution.  Blow resounded after blow; my mother’s cries became feebler and feebler, until at last she appeared senseless.  Then I ran to my father, and, clinging to his leg, cried, “Oh, father, she’s dead!”

This observation induced him to leave off.  He looked at my mother’s face; her eyes were closed, and her jaw had fallen.  “Well, she had enough of it this time,” said my father, after a pause; “maybe too much on it.  But when I looks at this tail in my hand, I feel as if I could still give her more.  And if she be dead, I think the judge would not hang me, if I showed him what I have lost.  I’d rather have parted with an arm or a leg any day of the week.  There’s been provocation enough, at all events, if she be dead—­a saint in heaven couldn’t stand it.”

During these remarks my mother gave no signs of returning animation, and at last my father became seriously alarmed.  “Jack,” said he, “I must cut my stick, or they may put me into limbo.  As soon as I have cleared out, do you run for a doctor to look at your mother; and mind you don’t forget to tell that old chap who was boozing with me last night everything which has happened, and the people will say, come what will on it, that I was aggravated sufficient; and, Jack, if there be a crowner’s inquest, mind you tell the truth.  You know I didn’t want to kill the old woman, don’t you, my boy? for didn’t I say that I’d keep the tail to give her another dose when I came back again?—­that proves I didn’t intend that she should slip her wind, you know, boy.  I said I’d give her another dose, you know, Jack—­and,” continued my father, “so I will, if I find her above ground when I comes back again.”

My father then went downstairs.  Little Virginia had fallen asleep again on the sofa; my father kissed her softly, shook hands with me, and put a crown in my hand.  He then unlocked the door, and, thrusting the end of his pigtail into his breast, coiled it, as it were, round his body, hastened down the alley, and was soon out of sight.