There is but one Homer, there is but one Shakespeare, there is but one McClintock—­and his immortal book is before you.  Homer could not have written this book, Shakespeare could not have written it, I could not have done it myself.  There is nothing just like it in the literature of any country or of any epoch.  It stands alone; it is monumental.  It adds G. Ragsdale McClintock’s to the sum of the republic’s imperishable names.

1.  The name here given is a substitute for the one actually attached to the pamphlet.

2.  Further on it will be seen that he is a country expert on the fiddle, and has a three-township fame.

3.  It is a crowbar.

THE CURIOUS BOOK

Complete

[The foregoing review of the great work of G. Ragsdale McClintock is liberally illuminated with sample extracts, but these cannot appease the appetite.  Only the complete book, unabridged, can do that.  Therefore it is here printed.—­M.T.]

THE ENEMY CONQUERED; OR, LOVE TRIUMPHANT

Sweet girl, thy smiles are full of charms,

Thy voice is sweeter still,

It fills the breast with fond alarms,

Echoed by every rill.

I begin this little work with an eulogy upon woman, who has ever been distinguished for her perseverance, her constancy, and her devoted attention to those upon whom she has been pleased to place her affections.  Many have been the themes upon which writers and public speakers have dwelt with intense and increasing interest.  Among these delightful themes stands that of woman, the balm to all our sighs and disappointments, and the most pre-eminent of all other topics.  Here the poet and orator have stood and gazed with wonder and with admiration; they have dwelt upon her innocence, the ornament of all her virtues.  First viewing her external charms, such as set forth in her form and benevolent countenance, and then passing to the deep hidden springs of loveliness and disinterested devotion.  In every clime, and in every age, she has been the pride of her nation.  Her watchfulness is untiring; she who guarded the sepulcher was the first to approach it, and the last to depart from its awful yet sublime scene.  Even here, in this highly favored land, we look to her for the security of our institutions, and for our future greatness as a nation.  But, strange as it may appear, woman’s charms and virtues are but slightly appreciated by thousands.  Those who should raise the standard of female worth, and paint her value with her virtues, in living colors, upon the banners that are fanned by the zephyrs of heaven, and hand them down to posterity as emblematical of a rich inheritance, do not properly estimate them.