In its immediate application it is a small thing.  People privileged to receive Punch’s Almanack through the post will not quibble over a half-penny.  But it is evident that a system which embodies an arrangement that needs only to be stated to have its absurdity demonstrated, wants looking after.

I beg to give my friend, the new Postmaster-General, notice that, as soon as the House meets, I shall put a question on the subject.  In the meanwhile, and always I am, honoured Sir, your obliged and obedient servant,

TOBY, M.P.

Kaiserbad, Aachen, Monday.

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[Illustration:  “ENGLAND, HOME, AND BEAUTY!”]

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POPULAR SONGS RE-SUNG.

Perhaps a version “up to date” (as the slang goes) of Our Village, may interest the supporters of the Statesman Mr. ACLAND, without annoying the admirers of the poet WAL PINK.

NO.  IV.—­OUR VILLAGE.

AIR—­"THE VILLAGE ON THE ‘SLOW AND DIRTY’ LINE."

  For centuries the Village was maintained, without cessation,
    As “a Squire and Parson’s paddock,” just to keep poor yokels down,
  But all that is to be altered, at the Radical’s instigation,
    We’re settling on a village which shall have the charms of town. 
  It’s shaped on Democratic lines, it is in nubibus yet,
    But when Reform’s set going, it’s a horse that does not stop. 
  The House o’ Commons has pronounced, and though old Tories fuss, yet
    All understand the tyrant has the tip to shut up shop.

[Illustration]

CHORUS.

    In the Village, new Village, a healthy little spot,
    The home of rural Hygiene, where nasty smells are not,
      Where HODGE shan’t be the thrall
      Of the Vicarage and the Hall,
    In the Village shaped on Democratic lines!

  There bobbing to their “betters” shall not be an institution
    With the Jemmies and the Jessamies, as in the good old day;
  There “Washhouses” shall civilise chawbacons—­by ablution,
    And Drink-shops shall not freely tithe the ploughman’s paltry pay. 
  There shall be a Parish Council by the householders elected,
    Who will snub “the Village tyrant” and will cut the Parson’s comb;
  And when once ’tis constituted such reform may be expected
    That poor HODGE in all sincerity may sing his “Home, Sweet Home!”

  Chorus.—­In the Village, new Village, the sanitary spot,
    A small self-governed commune with full powers to “allot,”
      A Free Library for all,
      And a handsome Meeting Hall,
    In the Village shaped on Democratic lines!