year.  Well that was bad enutf for them as likes that tell-tail lite, “but wuss remanes behind,” as the Pote says; and I reelly ardly xpecs to be beleeved when I says, as they threttened not to lite up the onered Manshun Ouse to the werry last! and as the gas has all a bin taken away, there wooden have been not no lites, and consequently not no Dinner in that grand Ome of Horspitallerty, not for twelve long weary hungry munse!

The shudder as run thro Gildhall when this was fust menshund, the Beedel tells me, was sumthink quite orful, and the langwidge used, ewen by anshant Deppertys, sumthink not to remember, but sumthink to forget as soon as posserbel.

However, a gentle reminder from them as could do what they threttind, whether it was six months’ hard, or suppenshun from wun of their own tall, red lamp postesses, brort them all to their sewen senses, and everythink is to be reddy for the fust State Bankwet at the reglar hour on the reglar day; and so the dedly wroth of the grand old Copperashun is apeezed, and there is no longer enny tork of a mighty band of hindignent Welshers a marching up to Town to awenge the dedly hinsult with which their poplar Monnark was threttined!

Wun of our werry cleverest Depputys said to me.—­“Ah, Mr. ROBERT, if our ennemys had reelly xtinguished all our light, I shoud indeed have said, with the Pote, Habsent Homen!”

I didn’t kno a bit what he meant, but I rayther think it were sumthink seesonnabel about Ome sweet Ome, or about the likker “habsinth,” wich I don’t hold with.  But I quite agreed with him.

ROBERT.

* * * * *

A ROYAL “HAPPY THOUGHT” IN DECEMBER.—­The Promise of MAY.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE,” &C.

Ethel.  “MUMMY DEAR, WHY DID YOU TELL RICHARD YOU ‘WEREN’T AT HOME’ JUST NOW?” (Pause.) “MUMMY, I MEAN—­”

Mamma.  “WHEN SIR FUSBY DODDERIDGE CALLED?  WHY, ETHEL DEAR, BECAUSE HE BORES ME.”

Ethel.  “OH!” (After thoughtfully considering the matter with regard to her Governess.) “THEN MAY I SAY I’M NOT AT HOME WHEN MISS KRUX CALLS TO-MORROW?  FOR SHE BORES ME AWFULLY?”]

* * * * *

“ENGLAND, HOME, AND BEAUTY!”

["I am quite proud to think that my son marries one who was born in this country, has been educated in this country, and has the feelings of an Englishwoman.”—­H.R.H. the Prince of Wales at the Civil Service Dinner.]

  The Prince’s word will strike a chord
    Of sympathy and pleasure
  In English hearts.  Not from abroad
    Young CLARENCE brought his treasure. 
  He finds his MAY in British mead;
    ’Tis Punch’s pleasant duty
  The old chorus once again to lead,
    “For England, Home, and Beauty!”