His wife, Queen Tonico, princess-like was half stifled in a thick blanket or mat of cocoa-nut fibre.  Her ears were heavily laden with teeth and ornaments of various kinds, made out of bone, mother of pearl, and tortoise-shell.  Her nails were two or three inches long; and, to judge by the number of finger-joints that were wanting, she was either troubled with delicate nerves, or was slightly hypochondriac.

The royal pair were accompanied by a band of music:  fortunately, this remained in the regal barge.  It consisted of a flute with four holes, a nondescript instrument, seemingly made of stones; a drum made out of the hollow trunk of a tree, covered at each end with skin, of what kind it is needless to inquire.  The sounds emitted by this orchestra were of an ear-rending nature, and of a kind graphically termed by the Germans Katzenmusik.

“Illustrious Rono,” cried Jack, “for goodness sake, tell these gentlemen you are not a lover of sweet sounds.”

“Belay there!” roared Willis.

This command, however, had no effect; the artists continued thumping and blowing away as before.  Willis, thinking to make himself better heard, placed his hands on his mouth, and roared the same order through them.  This action seemed to be received as a mark of approbation, for the noise became absolutely terrific.

“No use,” said Willis:  “I can make nothing of them.  You try what you can do.”

“Very good,” said Jack, lighting what is technically termed an artichoke, but better known as a zig-zag cracker; “if they do not understand English, perhaps they may comprehend pyrotechnics.”

The artichoke was thrown into the royal barge.  At first there was only a slight whiz, finally it gave an angry bound and leaped into the midst of the musicians.  Startled, they tried to get out of its way; but they were no sooner at what they thought to be a safe distance, than the thing was amongst them again.  Their majesties, who were just then engaged in kissing the Rono’s feet, started up in alarm; but when they saw the danger did not menace themselves, they burst into a hearty laugh at the antics of their suite.

This episode over, and the orchestra silenced, the Sovereign of Hawai proceeded to inspect the pinnace.  He expressed his delight every now and then by uttering the syllables “ta-ta.”  Fritz handed one of those shaving glasses to the Queen that lengthen the objects they reflect.  This astonished her Majesty vastly, and caused her to ta-ta at a great rate.  She looked behind the mirror, turned it upside down, and at last, when she felt assured that it was the royal person it caricatured, she commenced measuring her cheeks to account for the extraordinary disproportion.