They must ’ave a feelink ’art towards the poor, and no mistake,
  Or they wouldn’t take sech trouble for the poor Ratepayers’ sake,
  NOCKY SPRIGGENS sez it ’minds ’im of a League of Loving Cats
  To purtect from traps and pizen the poor mice and starvin’ rats.

  Jest like NOCKY’s narsty way that is!  But if them Dooks would try
  To assist the Kounty Kouncil in their new Committee—­wy,
  They might ’elp our Health and Housing in a style as none could mock,
  Give the proud “Pergressives” what-for, and fair put the shut on NOCK.

  Arter all yer Public Garding’s little better than a chouse,
  While the landlord rents yer heart out for a wretched Privit ’Ouse. 
  And yer Hopen Space’s pootiness ain’t much good to our sort,
  Who are shut up in the dismal dens called ’Omes, gents, down our Court.

  Oh, Philanterpists, and Sanitrys, and Dooks, I do not mean
  To be rucking upon Charity, or rounding on wot’s clean;
  But if yer wants to ’elp us as has lived so long in muck,
  The only thing wot’s wanted ain’t to give us the clean—­chuck!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  TAKING HIM RATHER TOO LITERALLY.

Sir Biggan Burleigh (who doesn’t see why he shouldn’t have a turn in his own house, to very young Lady).  “MISS VIOLET,—­ROUND OR SQUARE?”

Miss Violet (her first ball, very bashful).  “WELL—­REALLY—­SIR BURLEIGH—­IF YOU INSIST—­I SHOULD SAY”—­(hesitating)—­“DECIDEDLY ROUND!”]

* * * * *

’ARRY EXAMINED.

Q. What is meant by “Higher Education?”

’Arry.  Getting a Tutor at so much a week.  That’s the way I should ’ire education—­if I wanted it.

* * * * *

A DEFINITION.—­“A pun on a word is a new sense.”—­Dr. JOHNSON, Junior.

* * * * *

THE TRAVELLING COMPANIONS.

NO.  XXII.

    SCENE—­The Campo S.S.  Giovanni e Paolo.  Afternoon.  CULCHARD
    is leaning against the pedestal of the Colleoni Statue.

Podbury (who has just come out of S. Giovanni, recognising CULCHARD).  Hullo! alone, eh?  Thought you were with Miss TROTTER?

Culchard.  So I am.  That is, she is going over a metal-worker’s show-room close by, and I—­er—­preferred the open air.  But didn’t you say you were going out with the—­er—­PRENDERGASTS again?

Podb. So I am.  She’s in the Church with BOB, so I said I’d come out and keep an eye on the gondola.  Nothing much to see in there, you know!

Culch. (with a weary irony).  Only the mausoleums of the Doges—­RUSKIN’s “Street of the Tombs”—­and a few trifles of that sort!

[Illustration:  “I guess you’re about the most unselfish Saint on two legs!”]