Wit. (confused).  I don’t know.

Coun. (to Jury).  He doesn’t know!  I need ask nothing further! [Sits down.

Foreman (to Judge).  May we not ask, my Lord, how you consider this case is being conducted?

Judge.  With pleasure.  Gentlemen!  I will repeat what I remarked to the Master quite recently.  I think the only word that will describe the matter is “noble.”  Distinctly noble!

    [Scene closes in upon despair of Witness.

    NEW STYLE.—­Arrogant Witness about to leave the box, when
    his progress is arrested by Counsel on the other side.

Coun. I presume.  Sir, that—­

Wit. (sharply).  You have no right to presume.  Ask me what you want, and have done with it.

Coun. (amiably).  I think we shall get on better—­more quickly—­if you kindly attend to my questions.

Wit. Think so?  Well, it’s a matter of opinion.  But, as I have an engagement in another place, be good enough to ask what you are instructed to ask, and settle the matter off-hand.

Coun. If you will allow me to speak—­

Wit. Speak!—­I like that!  Why I can’t get a rational word out of you!

Coun. (appealing to Judge).  Surely, my Lord, he has no right to speak to me like this?

Judge.  Be good enough to attend to the Witness.  I have nothing to do with it.

Wit. (impatiently).  Now, Sir, am I to wait all day?

Coun. (mildly).  I really venture to suggest that is not quite the tone to adopt.

Wit. Don’t bully me, Sir!  I am here to answer any questions you like to put, always supposing that you have any worth answering.

Coun. But come—­surely you ought to—­

Wit. I am not here to learn my duty from you, Sir.  You don’t know your subject, Sir.  How long have you been called?

Coun. I decline to reply.

Judge (to Counsel).  Now you had really better be careful.  I wish to treat the Bar with every respect, but if you waste any more time I shall feel strongly inclined to bring your conduct before your Benchers.

Wit. You hear what his Lordship says.  What are you going to do next?

Coun. (confused).  I don’t know.

Wit. (to Jury).  He doesn’t know!  I needn’t stay here any longer.

    ["Stands” down.

Judge (to Jury).  May I ask you, Gentlemen, how you consider this case is being conducted?

Foreman of the Jury.  With pleasure, my Lord.  We were all using the same word which exactly describes the situation.  We consider the deportment of the Witness “noble.”  Distinctly noble.

    [Scene closes in upon despair of Counsel.