* * * * *

An opportunity.—­A Lyme Regis Correspondent sends us the following advertisement, found, he says, in the Bridport News; we omit dates and names:—­

    ——­ will sell by auction, Three Fine Dairy cows to calve
    respectfully in Dec., April, and May next.  An excellent
    double-feeding chaff-cutter, &c.

A respectful cow will no doubt fulfil her engagements honorably.  “A double-feeding chaff-cutter” ought to be an acquisition to a fast set on a coach at the Derby, though of course his “double-feeding” powers would have to be amply provided for at luncheon time.

* * * * *

“The nearest thing to ‘setting the Thames on fire,’” said a quiet traveller by the Underground, “is the announcement which you will now see at the St. James’s Park Station:—­’A light here for Niagara.’” “Why,” exclaimed an irate passenger to the timid suggestion of the above, “of course it doesn’t mean that.”  Then he added, contemptuously, “Get out!” Which he did.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Rusticus EXPECTANS. (New political version of an old fable.)]

* * * * *

Rusticus EXPECTANS;

OR, THE NEW DUMBLEDUMDEARY.

  “Rusticus expectat, dum defluat amnis; at ille
  Labitur, et labetur in omne volubilis aevum.”

Horace.

Air—­“DUMBLEDUMDEARY.”

  In the fall of the year, when M.P.’s were about,
  And speeches burst forth like a waterspout,
  HODGE took up his bundle, and caught up his staff,
  And went for a walk—­if you please, don’t laugh!—­
      Singing dumbledumdeary, dumbledumdeary,
      Dumble, dumble, dumbledumdee!

  Oh, HODGE had put on his bettermost smock,
  And wore his billycock gaily a-cock;
  For HODGE nowadays is a person of note,
  And great Governments bow to the “hind,”—­with a vote. 
      Singing dumbledumdeary, &c.

  So he strolled on wi’out dread or fear
  Of Squoire or Parson, or County Peer,
  For the spouting M.P. and the Liberal Van
  Had made of the shock-headed joskin a Man! 
      Singing dumbledumdeary, &c.

  With promises stuffed, and with hope inspired,
  HODGE walked, and walked till he felt quite tired;
  So he sat himself down on the bank of a stream,
  And, falling asleep, dreamed a wonderful dream. 
      Singing dumbledumdeary, &c.

  The old, old stream was no longer the brook
  Where he’d angled for minnows with worm and hook;
  It swelled and swirled, and its rippling voice
  Was changed to loud echoes of platform noise. 
      Singing dumbledumdeary, &c.