* * * * *

TO EVANGELINE.

  Oh, come and be my Queen,
    And share my lot
  In some artistic cot
    At Turnham Green,
          EVANGELINE!

  The painted tambourine
    Shall grace its wall,
  And many a table small
    And folding screen
  Shall on its floor be seen,
          EVANGELINE!

  Your beauty’s dazzling sheen
    Upsets me quite—­
  Of late my appetite
    Has wretched been,
          EVANGELINE!

  I shun the soup tureen
    And pine for you;
  At pudding, joint, and stew
    My face turns green—­
  What do the symptoms mean,
          EVANGELINE?

  If Fate should come between
    My Love and me,
  This countenance will be
    No more serene,
          EVANGELINE!

  With nitro-glycerine
    I’ll speed my flight,
  Or else I will ignite
    Some Magazine—­
  Some Powder Magazine,
          EVANGELINE!

* * * * *

AN AUNT AT WILL.

    [A lawsuit has been occasioned in India through white ants
    devouring a will.]

It is usually supposed that Australia is topsey-turvey mad, but in India it seems that matters also go by contraries, when compared with their mode of procedure at home.  A lawsuit has been occasioned in Calcutta through white ants devouring a will.  In England our Aunts (who are generally whites) make wills (bless them!) and we devour them, or at least live on the proceeds.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  DEAR CHILD!

Papa (to Friend from Town).  “THERE, MY BOY, THAT’S WHAT YOU OUGHT TO DO!  GET A GEE, AND COME OUT WITH THE HOUNDS!”

Little Daughter.  “OH, PAPA, TAKE CARE YOU DON’T FALL OFF, AS YOU DID THE OTHER DAY!”]

* * * * *

KATHLEEN AND PETRUCHIO;

OR, SHAKSPEARE BALFOURISED.

  Kathleen.  HIBERNIA. Petruchio.  Mr. BALFOUR.
      Grumio....  Mr. JACKSON.
      Haberdasher..  Mr. GLADSTONE.

Petruchio.  Thus have I politicly begun my reign, And ’tis my hope to end successfully; My falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she must not be full-gorg’d, For then she never looks upon her lure.  Another way I have to man my haggard, To make her come, and know her keeper’s call; That is, to watch her, as we watch these kites That bate, and beat, and will not be obedient.  She plays no tricks to-day, nor none shall play; Last Session she ruled not, nor shall next Session; Resolute government is the only way To smooth these stormy spirits.

      All the same,
  After the hurly-burly, I intend
  All shall be done in reverend care of her;
  And, in conclusion, she shall have her