coal-sack, and Miss Wozenham has the principles and
manners of a female heaver—Madam from the
manner in which I have heard her mention you I know
she has no appreciation of a lady, and from the manner
in which she has conducted herself towards me I know
she has no appreciation of a gentleman—Madam
my name is Jackman—should you require any
other reference than what I have already said, I name
the Bank of England—perhaps you know it!”
Such was the beginning of the Major’s occupying
the parlours and from that hour to this the same and
a most obliging Lodger and punctual in all respects
except one irregular which I need not particularly
specify, but made up for by his being a protection
and at all times ready to fill in the papers of the
Assessed Taxes and Juries and that, and once collared
a young man with the drawing-room clock under his
coat, and once on the parapets with his own hands and
blankets put out the kitchen chimney and afterwards
attending the summons made a most eloquent speech
against the Parish before the magistrates and saved
the engine, and ever quite the gentleman though passionate.
And certainly Miss Wozenham’s detaining the
trunks and umbrella was not in a liberal spirit though
it may have been according to her rights in law or
an act I would myself have stooped to, the Major
being so much the gentleman that though he is far
from tall he seems almost so when he has his shirt-frill
out and his frock-coat on and his hat with the curly
brims, and in what service he was I cannot truly tell
you my dear whether Militia or Foreign, for I never
heard him even name himself as Major but always simple
“Jemmy Jackman” and once soon after he
came when I felt it my duty to let him know that Miss
Wozenham had put it about that he was no Major and
I took the liberty of adding “which you are sir”
his words were “Madam at any rate I am not a
Minor, and sufficient for the day is the evil thereof”
which cannot be denied to be the sacred truth, nor
yet his military ways of having his boots with only
the dirt brushed off taken to him in the front parlour
every morning on a clean plate and varnishing them
himself with a little sponge and a saucer and a whistle
in a whisper so sure as ever his breakfast is ended,
and so neat his ways that it never soils his linen
which is scrupulous though more in quality than quantity,
neither that nor his mustachios which to the best of
my belief are done at the same time and which are
as black and shining as his boots, his head of hair
being a lovely white.
It was the third year nearly up of the Major’s being in the parlours that early one morning in the month of February when Parliament was coming on and you may therefore suppose a number of impostors were about ready to take hold of anything they could get, a gentleman and a lady from the country came in to view the Second, and I well remember that I had been looking out of window and had watched them and the heavy sleet driving down the street together looking