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“Humour and love,” says a contemporary, “are what will pay the average writer best at the moment.”  It is not known whether Labour or the Peace Conference has done most to send up the price of these luxuries.

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Officials of the Waiters’ Union are perturbed over the rumour that restaurant habitues are preparing to strike in favour of a fifty per cent. reduction in tips.

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Several of our leading magistrates declare that unless some High Court judge asks, “What is beer?” they will be compelled to do it themselves.

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A St. Bernard dog belonging to a New York hotel-keeper perished after swallowing a bundle of dollar notes.  It is said that the deceased died worth sixty-five pounds.

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One explanation for the many daylight robberies committed recently in London is that several of our better-class burglars object to breaking into people’s houses like thieves in the night.

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Because a Highgate lodger refused to pay his rent, the landlady wrote asking his wife to come and fetch him away.  If he is not claimed in three days he will be sold to defray expenses.

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Only a person with a perfectly healthy skin, says a contemporary, can afford to face the keen winds without taking precaution.  If you have any doubts about your skin the best thing is to leave it at home on the hat-rack.

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At a football match at South Hindley last week the referee was struck in the mouth and severely injured by one of the backs, after ordering three other players off the field for fighting.  This, we understand, was one of the first fixtures to be brought off under the auspices of the Brighter Football League.

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The L.C.C. are said to be formulating a plan to meet the rush for trains on the Underground.  Personally we always try to avoid it.

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A medical journal refers to a new method of raising blisters by hypnotic suggestion.  This is said to be an improvement on the old East End system of developing black eyes by back-answering.

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A defendant told the Tower Bridge magistrate that he only took whisky when he had a cold.  It must be hard work for him to resist sitting by an open window this weather.

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A gold vase, said to have been stolen from Assyria 2478 years ago, has just been found in a sarcophagus at Cairo.  We understand that the local police have been instructed to take action.

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The typist who, as reported in these columns last week, fell out of a moving train on the Isle of Wight Railway and had quite a lot to say to the guard when she overtook the train, is now understood to have been told she could keep on walking if she liked.  However, as her people were not expecting her until the train arrived, she again entered the carriage from which she had fallen.