CHORKLE, Cecil Salisbury CHORKLE, Strafford thorough CHORKLE, Hobbes leviathan CHORKLE, and Randolph Churchill CHORKLE.) The sixth, eighteen months old, is a girl.  Her name is WILLIAMINA Henrietta Smith CHORKLE.  They were all present, covered with primroses.  I added a few words about the inspiring effect that the contemplation of lord BEACONSFIELD’s career must have upon the youth of the country.  Mother’s bouquet kept falling off the place she had put it on, and two or three enthusiasts always dashed forward to pick it up, causing a good many collisions.  In the middle of my speech, Carlo walked into the centre of the hall, sat down and proceeded to gnaw off the primroses which had been tied to his tail.  He then ate them all solemnly, and after that rolled over on his back with his paws stuck straight out, pretending he was dead.  I must tell Mother not to bring that dog again.  There was a great banquet in the evening.  VULLIAMY came down for it and spoke very kindly about me in his speech.  Said he had followed my career with profound interest and pleasure from my earliest years.  I’ve only known him a year.

* * * * *

Nothing like discipline!

(EXTRACT FROM THE DIARY OF private Atkins, PRINCE’S COMPANY, 4TH BATTALION, H.M.’S GUZZLEBEER GUARDS.)

Monday.—­Joined the Regiment.  Appeared on Parade, and was requested to come to “attention,” although the Sergeant must have seen that I was “standing at ease.”  Expressed a desire that the Commanding-officer should rectify the mistake, when all ended amicably.  Sergeant apologised, and promised that it should not occur again.  Satisfied.  Both Sergeant and Commanding-officer well up in their duties!

[Illustration]

Tuesday.—­Bugle sounded too early for Assembly.  Sent a message to the Adjutant by his orderly (with my compliments) saying that I would feel much obliged if the Parade were postponed an hour.  Adjutant returned his compliments, with a request that I would give in writing my reason for desiring a delay.  Explained (by word of mouth) that I wanted to read the newspapers.  Parade consequently postponed as requested.  Obliging chap the Adjutant!

Wednesday.—­Warned for Guard.  Sent for the Major of my half-battalion (don’t like bothering the Commanding-officer about every trifle), and explained that, although the Surgeon had seen me, and reported me fit, I had a presentiment that the easterly winds would play the very mischief with me if I went “Sentry Go.”  Major thought, perhaps it would be better if I were struck off duty.  Excused Guard in consequence.  Good sort Major of my half-battalion!