would not the proceeding savour of collusion?  To meet this obstacle I came to the conclusion that I might get my Wife to pay a visit to her mother, and then, appropriately disguised, seize and carry her off.  By locking her in the conveyance and riding on the box, I could preserve my incognito until reaching home, and then I might confine her in her own room with assumed harshness, and possibly (of this I had some doubt) get her to complain of her imprisonment.  By keeping my Wife’s domicile a close secret, her mother would be induced to visit me to ask my professional assistance in recovering her daughter.  Thus approached it would be possible to so advise the old lady that in the result she would demand my Wife’s presence in Court under a writ of habeas corpus.  Then would come my opportunity.  Of course I would produce my Wife, and having carefully prepared my arguments, would deliver an oration that would fill columns of the newspapers, and hand down my name to generations to come as the authority on marital rights.  I saw in the near future wealth and restored domestic happiness.  But the first thing to do was to lock up my Wife.  And at this point it occurred to me that it was time for me to walk over to the Revision Court.  I hastily gathered certain necessary articles into my brief-bag, and putting on my hat, grasped the handle of the door.  To my surprise I found that I could obtain no egress.  I rang the bell—­and instead of a servant my Wife answered the summons.  “The door is locked, dear,” I observed, “and as the key seems to be on the other side, will you kindly open it, as I am in a hurry to be off.”

“You will stay where you are,” was the reply.  “You are not going to get killed by attending a nonsensical Revision Court.”

“But I must go,” I explained; and then assuming a tone of authority I rarely adopt, I added, “and you will be good enough to open the door at once.”

“I shall do nothing of the sort,” replied my Wife, calmly.  “I locked you in, and I shan’t let you out.”

“What, Madam,” I exclaimed; “do you defy my authority?”

“Certainly!” was the immediate response, “You may say or think what you like, but you don’t leave this house to-day as sure as I am your lawfully wedded Wife.”

And as a matter of fact I didn’t!

(Signed.) A. BRIEFLESS, JUNIOR.

Pump-handle Court.

* * * * *

OPERATIC NOTES.

[Illustration]

Monday.—­To see MADAME ALBANI as Violetta the consumptive heroine of “La Traviata.”  Charmingly sung and admirably, nay, most touchingly, acted.  MAUREL excellent as Germont Senior, and MONTARIOL quite the weak-minded masher Alfredo.  What a different turn the story might have taken had it occurred to Violetta to have a flirtation with the handsome middle-aged pere noble!  At one time it almost seemed as if there had been some change in motive