LXVII.  After taking the bath he supped in much company, still sitting as his fashion had been since the battle, for he never reclined except when he was sleeping; and there were at supper with him all his friends and the magistrates of Utica.  After supper the drinking went on with much gaiety and enjoyment, one philosophical subject after another taking its turn, till at last the enquiry came round to the so-called paradoxes of the Stoics, that the good man alone is free, and that all the bad are slaves.  Hereupon the Peripatetic making objections, as one might expect, Cato broke in with great vehemence, and with a loud tone and harsh voice maintained his discourse at great length, and displayed wonderful energy, so that no one failed to observe that he had resolved to end his life and relieve himself from present troubles.  Wherefore as there was silence and depression of spirits among all the company, after he had done speaking, with the view of cheering them up and diverting their suspicions, Cato again begun to put questions and to express anxiety about the state of affairs, and his fears for those who had sailed away, and also for those who were going through a waterless and barbarian desert.

LXVIII.  At the end of the entertainment he took his usual walk with his friends after supper, and after giving the officers of the watch the proper orders, he retired to his chamber, but he first embraced his son and his friends with more than his usual expression of kindness, which again made them suspect what was going to happen.  On entering his chamber and lying down he took Plato’s dialogue on the Soul,[753] and when he had gone through the greater part of it, he looked up over his head, and not seeing his sword hanging there, for his son had caused it to be taken away while he was at supper, he called a slave and asked who had taken his sword.  The slave made no answer and Cato was again at the book, but after a short interval, as if he were in no haste or hurry, and was merely looking for his sword, he bade the slave bring it.  As there was some delay and nobody brought it, after having read the dialogue through he again called his slaves one by one, and raising his voice demanded his sword; and striking the mouth of one of them with his fist he bruised his hand, being in a great passion and calling out aloud that he was surrendered defenceless to the enemy by his son and his slaves, till at last his son ran in weeping with his friends, and embracing him fell to lamentations and entreaties.  But Cato rising up looked sternly and said, “When and where have I been proved, and without knowing it, to have lost my reason, that no one instructs me or teaches me in the matters wherein I am judged to have determined ill, but I am hindered from using my own reasonings and am deprived of my weapons?  Why don’t you put your father in chains also, generous son, and his hands behind his back, till Caesar shall come and find me unable even to defend myself?  For I need not a sword to kill myself, when it is in my power to die by holding my breath for a short time and giving my head a single blow against the wall.”