CHARIVARIA.

The effect of the curtailed train-service throughout the country is already observable.  On certain sections of one of our Southern lines there are no trains running except those which started prior to January 1st.

***

The new Treasury Notes, we are told, are to have a picture of the House of Commons on the back.  It is hoped that other places of amusement, such as the Crystal Palace and the Imperial Institute, will be represented on subsequent issues.

***

It is announced from Germany that arrangements have been made whereby criminals are to be enrolled in the army.  They have, of course, already conducted many of its operations.

***

According to The Daily Chronicle there are only twenty-three full Generals in the British Army—­a total identical with that of the late Cabinet.  It is only fair to the army to state that the number is purely a coincidence.

***

  “The rise in boot prices
  women’s large purchases.”

The above headlines in a contemporary have caused a good deal of natural jealousy among members of the Force.

***

“At them and through them!” says the Hamburger Fremdenblatt in a seasonable message to the commander of the Turkish Navy.  This will not deceive the Turk, who is beginning to realise that, while the invitation to go at the enemy is sincere, any opportunities of “going through” him will be exclusively grasped by his Teutonic ally.

***

Prince Buelow has again arrived in Switzerland.  It is these bold and dramatic strokes that lift the German diplomat above the ranks of the commonplace.

***

It is explained by a railway official that a passenger who pays threepence for a ticket to-day is really only giving the company twopence, the rest being water, owing to the decline in the purchasing power of money.  A movement is now on foot among some of the regular passengers to endeavour to persuade the companies to consent to take their fares neat for the future.

***

At his Coronation the Emperor Karl of Austria waved the sword of st. Stephen towards the four corners of the earth, to indicate his intention to protect his empire against all its foes.  The incident has been receiving the earnest consideration of the Kaiser, who has now finally decided that in the circumstances it is not necessary to regard it as an unfriendly act.

***

It was felt that the ceremonies connected with the Coronation ought to be curtailed out of regard for the sufferings due to the War.  So they dispensed with the customary distribution of bread to the poor.

***

Lecturing to a juvenile audience Professor Arthur Keith said that there was no difference between detectives and scientists, and some of the older boys are still wondering whether he was trying to popularise science or to discredit detective stories.