1st Footman. But if your honor would just be pleased to—­

2d Footman. Only be pleased to—­

Mr. H. Be quick with what you have to say, for I am in haste.

1st Footman. Just to—­

2d Footman. Let us know who it is—­

1st Footman. Who it is we have the honor to serve.

Mr. H. Why me, me, me; you serve me.

2d Footman. Yes, Sir; but we do not know who you are.

Mr. H. Childish curiosity! do not you serve a rich master, a gay master, an indulgent master?

1st Footman. Ah, Sir! the figure you make is to us, your poor servants, the principal mortification.

2d Footman. When we get over a pot at the publichouse, or in a gentleman’s kitchen, or elsewhere, as poor servants must have their pleasures—­when the question goes round, who is your master? and who do you serve? and one says, I serve Lord So-and-so, and another, I am Squire Such-a-one’s footman—­

1st Footman.  We have nothing to say for it, but that we serve Mr. H.

2d Footman.  Or Squire H.

Mr. H.  Really you are a couple of pretty modest, reasonable personages! but I hope you will take it as no offence, gentlemen, if, upon a dispassionate review of all that you have said, I think fit not to tell you any more of my name, than I have chosen for especial purposes to communicate to the rest of the world.

1st Footman.  Why, then, Sir, you may suit yourself.

2d Footman.  We tell you plainly, we cannot stay.

1st Footman.  We don’t choose to serve Mr. H.

2d Footman.  Nor any Mr. or Squire in the alphabet—­

1st Footman.  That lives in Chris-cross Row.

Mr. H.  Go, for a couple of ungrateful, inquisitive, senseless rascals!  Go; hang, starve, or drown!—­Rogues, to speak thus irreverently of the alphabet—­I shall live to see you glad to serve old Q—­to curl the wig of great S—­adjust the dot of little i—­stand behind the chair of X, Y, Z—­wear the livery of Etcaetera—­and ride behind the sulky of And-by-itself-and!
                                                [Exit in a rage.

ACT II.

SCENE.—­A handsome Apartment well lighted, Tea, Cards, &c.—­A large party of Ladies and Gentlemen; among them MELESINDA.

1st Lady.  I wonder when the charming man will be here.

2d Lady.  He is a delightful creature.  Such a polish—­

3d Lady.  Such an air in all that he does or says—­

4th Lady.  Yet gifted with a strong understanding—­

5th Lady.  But has your ladyship the remotest idea of what his true name is?

1st Lady.  They say, his very servants do not know it.  His French valet, that has lived with him these two years—­