Yours, &c.,

DIOGENES ROBINSON.

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ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.

“ONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW EVERYTHING.”—­You ask, What are the duties of “the Ranger”?  Household duties only.  He has to inspect the kitchen-ranges in the kitchens of Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle, Balmoral, and Osborne.  Hence the style and title.  He also edits Cook’s Guides.

“ANOTHER IDIOT” wishes to know if there is such an appointment in the gift of the Crown as the office of “Court Sweep.”  Why, certainly; and, on State occasions, he wears the Court Soot, and his broom is always waiting for him at the entrance!  At Balmoral and Osborne there is a beautiful sweep leading the visitor right up to the front door.

“ONE MORE UNFORTUNATE” writes us,—­“Sir, in what poem of MILTON’s does the following couplet occur?—­

  I’ll light the gas soon,
  To play the bas-soon.

How are the lines to be scanned?” Ans.—­On internal evidence, we question whether the lines are MILTON’s.  In the absence of our Poet, who is out for a holiday, we can only reply, that if shortsighted, you can scan them by the aid of a powerful glass—­of your favourite compound.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “THE SWEET LITTLE CHERUB THAT SITS UP ALOFT.”

(Modern Version, as it must be.)]

["The Associated Chamber of Commerce ask that the Coastguard stations, shore-lighthouses, rock lighthouses, and light-ships of the United Kingdom, should, as far as possible, be connected by telegraph or telephone with the general telegraph system of the country, ’as a means for the protection of life and property, as well as for national defence.’...  France and America, Holland and Denmark, provide their seamen with this great safeguard in the hour of their utmost need.  IS England content to let her sailors die by hundreds for want of a little money, or for want of a little care?”—­Times.]

  Prospero.  Why, that’s my spirit! 
        But was not this nigh shore?

  Ariel.  Close by, my master.

  Prospero.  But are they, Ariel, safe?

  Ariel.  Not a hair perish’d.

          Tempest, Act I., Scene 2.

CONTENT?  There’s many an English heart will hear with fierce amaze That England lags so far behind in these electric days—­ England, whose seamen are her shield, who vaunts in speech and song, The love she bears her mariners!  Wake, CAMPBELL, swift and strong Of swell and sweep as the salt waves you sang as none could sing!  Rouse DIBDIN, of the homelier flight, but steady waft of wing!  Poetic shades, this question, sure, should pierce the ear of death, And make ye vocal once again with quick, indignant breath. Content?  Whilst round our rocky coasts the souls who guard them