HELEN.  No, my mother—­Mrs. Crosby—­mother doesn’t go out—­she’d be unhappy here, and you’d be uncomfortable if she came.  You’ll find her trying sometimes, you’ll think she’s common.  Oh, don’t misunderstand me.  She’s the most wonderful mother in the world.  And she’s—­

MRS. CROSBY.  Suppose, my dear, that we take your mother for granted. (She crosses to a position between WILLIAM and HELEN.) Take us as you find us and we will try to be happy.

(Enter CROSBY from door L. He is a fine-looking man of about sixty, with a pleasant personality, a good deal of charm and that masterful self-possession which sometimes marks the man of affairs.  It is always evident that the most delightful intimacy exists between himself and his wife.)

MRS. CROSBY.  Well, Roscoe?

CROSBY (moves to L.C.).  Welcome, my dear. (HELEN crosses to him and he takes her in his arms.)

HELEN.  Oh, Mr. Crosby—­I—­

CROSBY (placing HELEN L. of him with arm still around her, reaching his other hand to WILLIAM).  Bill, shake!

(Father and son shake hands.)

(CROSBY looks at his wife and they laugh gently.)

Shall I tell ’em?

MRS. CROSBY (standing in front of table over R.).  I would.

WILLIAM (R.C.) Tell us what?

CROSBY (C.).  You did this just in time.  To-morrow I was going to forbid you to have anything more to do with this young woman.

HELEN (L. of CROSBY).  You see!

WILLIAM.  What for?

CROSBY.  Your mother and I felt that you were pretty slow with your love-making—­

WILLIAM.  Oh, mother!

CROSBY (continuing).—­and I knew darned well that if I interfered, you’d take the girl out and marry her.

HELEN.  Oh!

WILLIAM.  You old schemer!

CROSBY (crossing over R.C. below MRS. CROSBY).  I bet it would have worked.

WILLIAM (as CROSBY crosses R. WILLIAM slaps him on the back). 
It would. (Crosses behind HELEN to L.C.)

(The door down L. opens and EDWARD WALES enters.)

WALES.  I came ahead of the others to tell you—­

CROSBY.  Why, Ned, old man, you came just in time to congratulate them. (He points toward WILLIAM and HELEN.)

WALES.  On what? (L.C.)

MRS. CROSBY.  They’re going to be married:  isn’t it fine?

WALES.  Oh!

(There is a long pause.)

WILLIAM.  You don’t congratulate us, Mr. Wales.

WALES.  No, Will, I don’t.  I’m not sure that I can. (Down stage a step.)

CROSBY.  Why, Ned?

WILLIAM.  I’m afraid that calls for an explanation.

WALES.  Yes, I expect that it does.

(There is a long pause.)