***

A Hungarian paper complains that the Government treats the War as if it were merely a family affair.  This contrasts unfavourably with the more broadly hospitable attitude of the Allies, who have made it abundantly clear that so far as they are concerned anyone is welcome to join in and help their side.

***

The other day a Farnham bellringer, after cycling seventy miles, rang a peal of 5,940 changes.  It is not known why.

***

“War diet,” says Professor Rosin in the Lokal Anzeiger, “improves the action of the heart.”  But what the Germans really want to know is, what improves a war diet?

***

Among the goods stolen from a Crouch Hill provision merchant’s the other day were eight cheeses and ten hams.  As the place was much littered it is thought that the cheeses put up a plucky fight.

***

It is pointed out by experienced agriculturists that it is useless to plant potatoes unless steps are taken to destroy the insect pests.  A Peterborough farmer has written a poem in The Daily Express against those pests, but we fancy that if a permanent improvement is to be effected it will be necessary to adopt much sterner measures than this.

***

The recent vagaries of the Weather Controller are said to be due to one of the new railway regulations, by which you are required to “Show all seasons, please.”

***

Even Nature seems upset by the War.  According to The Evening Standard primroses are blooming in a Harrow garden, while only the other day a pair of white spats were to be seen in the Strand.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Anxious Mother. “Never mind about your brother, Maud.  ’Old the UMBRELLER over the Sugar!”]

* * * * *

Another Glimpse of the Obvious.

From the “Standing Orders” of a Military Hospital:—­

    “Officers confined to their beds will have their meals in their rooms.”

* * * * *

    “A gale of great fury raged at Sheffield early on Tuesday morning.  Much
    damage was done in the city and outlying districts, a number of beings
    being unroofed.”—­Yorkshire Paper.

Several others have been noticed to have a tile loose.

* * * * *

    “The welcome, amounting to an oration, which heralded the Prime
    Minister, was the most remarkable feature of a very remarkable
    occasion.” Daily Dispatch.

Is this quite kind to the subsequent speakers?

* * * * *

    “By his colleagues at Bar he has been regarded as a sound lawyer, well
    worthy of the high position which he had filled for little over two
    hundred years.”—­Englishman (Calcutta).