Amusing sight this game! Don versus Don
    Mixed in a sort of classic Donny brook. 
  A lethal weapon is a Lexicon
    When rivals make a bludgeon of the book. 
  By her unaided charms the Goddess won
    Her way. This is the language of her look. 
  (The Laureate’s) “Judge thou me by what I am,
  “So shalt thou find me, fairest”—­sans Compulsory Cram!

* * * * *

BETWEEN THE ACTS.

    SCENE—­Europe.  The Great Powers discovered in Council.

Russia.  Now, I think I have arranged matters fairly well.  I shall myself lend a hand to France, and that will keep the balance decently level, so far as Germany is concerned.

Germany.  Will it?  I can fight you both!

Austria.  Now, keep quiet.  If we are to be partners, you must not be so impulsive.

Italy.  Just what I say.  Why can’t he take it calmly!

Russia.  Well, of course it’s not my business; but if you want to break up the Triple Alliance, that’s the way to do it!  Well, then, France employed with you boys on the Rhine, I shall move down south, and quietly occupy Constantinople.  Now, no one could object to that!

Germany.  Why, I should, and so would Austria, wouldn’t you?

Austria.  Of course.  But what could we do, if we were hard at work with France?

Italy.  Yes; and fancy the Mediterranean becoming a Russian lake!

Russia.  Oh, you would soon grow accustomed to it!  Then I should move on to Afghanistan, and quietly make my way to India.  But all this has to be done after the first step is taken.  England must scuttle out of Egypt.

England.  Scuttle out of Egypt?  Why, certainly!  After consideration! [Left considering.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  MISUNDERSTOOD.

Young Lady (in Contralto tones of remarkable depth and richness).  “HAVE YOU GOT ANY LOW FRENCH SONGS?”

Music Publisher (indignantly). “CERTAINLY NOT, MISS!  YOU MUST TRY SOME OTHER ESTABLISHMENT!”]

* * * * *

ROBERT ON THE COMING SHO.

[Illustration]

What a prowd and appy day dear old Whales is about for to have on the werry next Lord Mare’s Day, as is cumming, which it’s the ninth of nex month, which it’s nex Monday.  Not only is wun of the werry populusest of living Welchmen a going for to be made Lord MARE on that werry day, but the Prince of WHALES hisself, who was inwited but karnt kum cos he’s keepin’ his hone Jewbilly at ome that appy and horspigious day.  Praps Madam HADDYLEANER PATTY (wich is quite a Welch name) would kum up an give us a treat on this okashun.