“Nay,” quothe faire Loundonne, “’tis but choyce
    ’Twixt dyvill and deepe sea! 
  I praye thee take thyself awaye,
    And leave the jobbe to me!”

  But nothynge could this grasping Witch
    Therewith appeased be. 
  The cup of deadlye poison stronge,
    As she knelt on her knee,

  She gave this comely dame to drinke,
    Who tooke it in her hande,
  Then from her bended knees arose,
    And on her feet did stande.

  And casting Council-wards her eyes,
    She did for rescue call,
  When—­[Fragmentes further may be founde,
    At presente thys is alle!

  If close researche, as welle we hope,
    Perchaunce complete ye texte,
  This ballade, as scribes saye, shall be
    "Continued in our next!"]

* * * * *

ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.

[Illustration]

Wanted, a few good extra Judges, who will be prepared to do all the work at present delayed or neglected by the existing members of the Bench.  They will be expected to dispense with all vacations except a week at Christmas, five days at Easter, and a fortnight from the first to the fifteenth of October.  They will devote their entire time to the service of the State, both day and night.  Their day will be devoted to business in the High Court of Justice in the Strand, and when required they will go Circuit (by special express) sitting at the various assizes from 9 P.M. until 3 A.M., returning to London by trains timed to reach the Metropolis sufficiently early to allow of the usual morning sitting.  They will be further required to consider their leisure (if any) entirely at the disposal of those members of the Bar and Solicitors who require it.  If they do this punctually and diligently, without knocking up, they will be permitted to draw salaries computed at the rate of about one-third of the emoluments received by a third-rate Queen’s Counsel; and if they grow lazy, or are incapacitated by illness, they will be rewarded by a number of personal attacks in the London newspapers.  Applications to be sent to the Lord Chancellor (endorsed “Extra Judges to suppress outside clamour”) as early as possible.  Every candidate for an appointment will be expected to be as strong as a horse, and as insensible to feeling as the back of a rhinoceros.

* * * * *

Big Drinkers, Moderate Drinkers, and Little Drinkers—­this is the Tipple Alliance!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “WHEN A MAN DOES NOT LOOK HIS BEST.”—­NO. 3.

WHEN HIS DENTIST WILL SUSPEND OPERATIONS TO TELL HIM FUNNY STORIES.]

* * * * *

GILBERT A BECKETT.

BORN, APRIL 7, 1837.  DIED, OCT. 15, 1891.

  “Wearing the white flower of a blameless life.”