* * * * *

[Illustration:  OUR COMPATRIOTS ABROAD.

“AND HOW DID YOU LIKE SWITZERLAND?”

“OH, IMMENSELY!  IT WAS OUR FIRST VISIT, YOU KNOW!”

“AND DID YOU GO ON INTO ITALY?”

“WELL, NO.  WE FOUND A HOTEL AT LAUSANNE WHERE THERE WAS A FIRST-RATE
TENNIS-LAWN, YOU KNOW—­QUITE AS GOOD AS OURS AT HOME.  SO WE SPENT THE
WHOLE OF OUR HOLIDAY THERE, AND PLAYED LAWN-TENNIS ALL DAY LONG!”]

* * * * *

FAMILY TIES.

["The journal (the Grashdanin) is of opinion that in making common cause with the other European Powers against China, Russia would but serve the ends of ...  England to the prejudice of her own interests, which demand that she should not jeopardise the security of her Asiatic shores, or contribute to the complete ascendancy of Great Britain in the Pacific Ocean, by arousing the antagonism of China.”—­Times.]

Muscovite loquitur:—­

  “Won’t you help me bind the Dragon?” says the Briton to the Russ. 
  Oho! ingenuous JOHNNY!  I’m opposed to needless fuss,
  And have other fish to fry—­say near the Oxus!  Not a hang
  Do I care for what may happen on the great Yang-tse-Kiang.

  I approve Non-intervention.  ’Tis your favourite doctrine, JOHN,
  And you stick to it so closely, and that’s just why you get on. 
  If you think that Dragon’s dangerous—­I hold ’tis but his play!—­
  There’s but one thing you’ve got to do—­clear out of the brute’s way.

  I am sure he doesn’t want you where you’ve stayed a deal too long;
  He wishes you would up and go to—­well not to Hong-Kong,
  But the natural home of all such “Foreign Devils,” in his view. 
  Why, he’s none too sweet on Me, JOHN; is it likely he’d like you?

Grattez le Russe—­et cetera.  You are mighty fond, J.B., Of quoting that stale epigram.  You fancy it riles me.  Not a bit of it, my Briton; Tartars have a thickish skin, And your foe and I are neighbours, nay a distant sort of kin.

  The Mantchus and the Romanoffs are not exactly chums,
  And a Tartar insurrection, when that little trouble comes,
  As it may do if you press too much at Pekin, well, who knows? 
  There is always something pleasing in the quarrels of one’s foes.

  The Mantchus miss a many of once subject Tartar tribes
  Who have—­gravitated Russwards.  Little call for blows or bribes
  To make blood-relations mingle.  On the Mantchus this may jar,
  But we’ve not forgotten Kuldja, and we recollect Kashgar.

  Wheels within wheels, dear JOHNNY!  As to missionaries, well,
  They are troublesome—­and useful; but to put things all pell-mell
  On account of priests and parsons, and of quite an alien creed,
  That’s scarce “diplomatic,” JOHNNY; it is not, dear boy, indeed.