Au. I like your Method.  You do philosophize very well.  Your humble Servant, Mr. Philosopher; not of the Stoick School, but the Kitchen.

Ch. What is the Matter with you, Erasmus, that you are so melancholy?  What makes you look so frowningly?  What makes you so silent?  Are you angry with me because I have entertained you with such a slender Supper?

Er. Nay, I am angry with you that you have put your self to so much Charge upon my Account. Austin laid a strict Charge upon you that you would provide nothing extraordinary upon his Account.  I believe you have a Mind we should never come to see you again; for they give such a Supper as this that intended to make but one.  What sort of Guests did you expect?  You seem to have provided not for Friends, but for Princes.  Do you think we are Gluttons?  This is not to entertain one with a Supper, but victualling one for three Days together.

Ch. You will be ill-humour’d.  Dispute about that Matter to-Morrow; pray be good humour’d to-Day.  We’ll talk about the Charge to-Morrow; I have no Mind to hear any Thing but what is merry at this time.

Au.  Christian, whether had you rather have, Beef or Mutton?

Ch. I like Beef best, but I think Mutton is the most wholsome.  It is the Disposition of Mankind to be most desirous of those Things that are the most hurtful.

Au. The French are wonderful Admirers of Pork.

Ch. The French love that most that costs least.

Au. I am a Jew in this one Thing, there is nothing I hate so much as Swine’s Flesh.

Ch. Nor without Reason, for what is more unwholsome?  In this I am not of the French Man’s but of the Jew’s Mind.

Er. But I love both Mutton and Pork, but for a different Reason; for I eat freely of Mutton, because I love it; but Hogs Flesh I don’t touch, by Reason of Love, that I may not give Offence.

Ch. You are a clever Man, Erasmus, and a very merry one too.  Indeed I am apt to admire from whence it comes to pass that there is such a great Diversity in Mens Palates, for if I may make use of this Verse of Horace,

      Tres mihi convivae prope dissentire videntur,
      Poscentes vario multum diversa palato.

Er. Although as the Comedian says, So many Men, so many Minds, and every Man has his own Way; yet no Body can make me believe, there is more Variety in Mens Dispositions, than there is in their Palates:  So that you can scarce find two that love the same Things.  I have seen a great many, that can’t bear so much as the Smell of Butter and Cheese:  Some loath Flesh; one will not eat roast Meat, and another won’t eat boil’d.  There are many that prefer Water before Wine.  And more than this, which you’ll hardly believe; I have seen a Man who would neither eat Bread, nor drink Wine.