Mis. When he has done every Thing, according to my Direction, before the Crucible is stirr’d, I come and look about, to see if nothing has been omitted, and then I say, that there seems to want a Coal or two at the Top, and pretending to take one out of the Coal-Heap, I privately lay on one of my own, or have laid it there ready before-Hand, which I can take, and no Body know any Thing of the Matter.
Ir. But when they try to do this without you, and it does not succeed, what Excuse have you to make?
Mis. I’m safe enough when I have got my Money. I pretend one Thing or other, either that the Crucible was crack’d, or the Coals naught, or the Fire not well tempered. And in the last Place, one Part of the Mystery of my Profession is, never to stay long in the same Place.
Ir. And is there so much Profit in this Art as to maintain you?
Mis. Yes, and nobly too: And I would have you, for the future, if you are wise, leave off that wretched Trade of Begging, and follow ours.
Ir. Nay, I should rather chuse to bring you back to our Trade.
Mis. What, that I should voluntarily return again to that I have escap’d from, and forsake that which I have found profitable?
Ir. This Profession of ours has this Property in it, that it grows pleasant by Custom. And thence it is, that tho’ many have fallen off from the Order of St. Francis or St. Benedict, did you ever know any that had been long in our Order, quit it? For you could scarce taste the Sweetness of Beggary in so few Months as you follow’d it.
Mis. That little Taste I had of it taught me, that it was the most wretched Life in Nature.
Ir. Why does no Body quit it then?
Mis. Perhaps, because they are naturally wretched.
Ir. I would not change this Wretchedness, for the Fortune of a King. For there is nothing more like a King, than the Life of a Beggar.
Mis. What strange Story do I hear? Is nothing more like Snow than a Coal?
Ir. Wherein consists the greatest Happiness of Kings?
Mis. Because in that they can do what they please.
Ir. As for that Liberty, than which nothing is sweeter, we have more of it than any King upon Earth; and I don’t doubt, but there are many Kings that envy us Beggars. Let there be War or Peace we live secure, we are not press’d for Soldiers, nor put upon Parish-Offices, nor taxed. When the People are loaded with Taxes, there’s no Scrutiny into our Way of Living. If we commit any Thing that is illegal, who will sue a Beggar? If we beat a Man, he will be asham’d to fight with a Beggar? Kings can’t live at Ease neither in War or in Peace, and the greater they are, the greater are their Fears. The common People are afraid to offend us, out of a certain Sort of Reverence, as being consecrated to God.