Eu. Recount what Pains you took before you could teach that Parrot to prattle.

Xa. A great Deal indeed.

Eu. And yet you think much to bestow a little Pains to mould your Husband, with whom you may live a pleasant Life all your Days.  What a Deal of Pains do Men take to render a Horse tractable to them:  And shall we think much to take a little Pains to render our Husbands more agreeable?

Xa. What must I do?

Eu. I have told you already, take Care that all Things be neat, and in Order at Home, that there be nothing discomposing, to make him go out of Doors; behave yourself easy and free to him, always remembring that Respect which is due from a Wife to a Husband.  Let all Melancholy and ill-tim’d Gaiety be banished out of Doors; be not morose nor frolicksome.  Let your Table be handsomely provided.  You know your Husband’s Palate, dress that which he likes best.  Behave yourself courteously and affably to those of his Acquaintance he respects.  Invite them frequently to Dinner; let all Things be pleasant and chearful at Table.  Lastly, if at any Time he happens to come Home a little merry with Wine, and shall fall to playing on his Fiddle, do you sing, to him, so you will gradually inure your Husband to keep at Home, and also lessen his Expences:  For he will thus reason with himself; was not I mad with a Witness, who live abroad with a nasty Harlot, to the apparent Prejudice of my Estate and Reputation, when I have at Home a Wife much more entertaining and affectionate to me, with whom I may be entertained more handsomely and more plentifully?

Xa. Do you think I shall succeed, if I try?

Eu. Look to me for that.  I engage that you will:  In the mean Time I’ll talk to your Husband, and put him in Mind of his Duty.

Xa. I approve of your Design; but take Care that he mayn’t discover any Thing of what has past between us two, for he would throw the House out of the Windows.

Eu. Don’t fear, I’ll order my Discourse so by Turnings and Windings, that he shall tell me himself, what Quarrels have happened between you.  When I have brought this about, I’ll treat him after my Way, as engagingly as can be, and I hope, shall render him to you better temper’d:  I’ll likewise take Occasion to tell a Lie or two in your Favour, how lovingly and respectfully you spoke of him.

Xa. Heaven prosper both our Undertakings.

Eu. It will, I doubt not, if you are not wanting to yourself.

The SOLDIER and CARTHUSIAN.

The ARGUMENT.

This Colloquy sets out to the Life, the Madness of young Men that run into the Wars, and the Life of a pious Carthusian, which without the love of Study, can’t but be melancholy and unpleasant.  The Manners of Soldiers, the Manners and Diet of Carthusians.  Advice in chusing a Way of getting a Livelihood.  The Conveniency of a single Life, to be at Leisure for Reading and Meditation.  Wicked Soldiers oftentimes butcher Men for a pitiful Reward.  The daily Danger of a Soldier’s Life.

The SOLDIER and CARTHUSIAN.