Xa. But where can a Body get this Girdle?

Eu. There is no Need of Witchcrafts and Spells to procure one.  There is no Enchantment so effectual as Virtue, join’d with a Sweetness of Disposition.

Xa. I can’t be able to bring myself to humour such a Husband as I have got.

Eu. But this is for your Interest, that he would leave off to be such a bad Husband.  If you could by Circe’s Art transform your Husband into a Swine or a Bear, would you do it?

Xa. I can’t tell, whether I should or no.

Eu. Which had you rather have, a Swine to your Husband, or a Man?

Xa. In Truth, I had rather have a Man.

Eu. Well, come on.  What if you could by Circe’s Arts make him a sober Man of a Drunkard, a frugal Man of a Spendthrift, a diligent Man of an idle Fellow, would you not do it?

Xa. To be sure, I would do it.  But how shall I attain the Art?

Eu. You have the Art in yourself, if you would but make Use of it.  Whether you will or no he must be your Husband, and the better Man you make him, the more you consult your own Advantage.  You only keep your Eyes fix’d upon his Faults, and those aggravate your Aversion to him; and only hold him by this Handle, which is such a one that he cannot be held by; but rather take Notice of what good Qualities he has, and hold him by this Handle, which is a Handle he may be held by:  Before you married him, you had Time of considering what his Defects were.  A Husband is not to be chosen by the Eyes only, but by the Ears too.  Now ’tis your Time to cure him, and not to find Fault with him.

Xa. What Woman ever made Choice of a Husband by her Ears?

Eu. She chuses a Husband by her Eyes, which looks at nothing else but his Person and bare Outside:  She chuses him by her Ears, who carefully observes what Reputation he has in the World.

Xa. This is good Advice, but it is too late.

Eu. But it is not too late to endeavour to amend your Husband.  It will contribute something to the Matter, if you could have any Children by him.

Xa. I have had one.

Eu. When?

Xa. A long Time ago.

Eu. How many Months?

Xa. Why, about Seven.

Eu. What do I hear!  You put me in Mind of the Joke of the three Months Lying in.

Xa. By no Means.

Eu. It must be so, if you reckon from the Day of Marriage.

Xa. But I had some private Discourse with him before Marriage.

Eu. Are Children got by Talking?

Xa. He having by Chance got me into a Room by myself, began to play with me, tickling me about the Arm-pits and Sides, to make me laugh, and I not being able to bear being tickled any longer, threw myself flat upon the Bed, and he lying upon me, kiss’d me, and I don’t know what he did to me besides; but this is certain, within a few Days after, my Belly began to swell.