Xa. You guess right, it is one of the prettiest Suits I ever beheld in all my Life.  It is English Cloth, I suppose.

Eu. It is indeed of English Wool, but it is a Venetian Dye.

Xa. It is as soft as Silk, and ’tis a charming Purple.  Who gave you this fine Present?

Eu. My Husband.  From whom should a virtuous Wife receive Presents but from him?

Xa. Well, you are a happy Woman, that you are, to have such a good Husband.  For my Part, I wish I had been married to a Mushroom when I was married to my Nick.

Eu. Why so, pray?  What! is it come to an open Rupture between you already?

Xa. There is no Possibility of agreeing with such a one as I have got.  You see what a ragged Condition I am in; so he lets me go like a Dowdy!  May I never stir, if I an’t asham’d to go out of Doors any whither, when I see how fine other Women are, whose Husbands are nothing nigh so rich as mine is.

Eu. The Ornament of a Matron does not consist in fine Cloaths or other Deckings of the Body, as the Apostle Peter teaches, for I heard that lately in a Sermon; but in chaste and modest Behaviour, and the Ornaments of the Mind.  Whores are trick’d up to take the Eyes of many but we are well enough drest, if we do but please our own Husbands.

Xa. But mean while this worthy Tool of mine, that is so sparing toward his Wife, lavishly squanders away the Portion I brought along with me, which by the Way was not a mean one.

Eu. In what?

Xa. Why, as the Maggot bites, sometimes at the Tavern, sometimes upon his Whores, sometimes a gaming.

Eu. O fie, you should never say so of your Husband.

Xa. But I’m sure ’tis too true; and then when he comes Home, after I have been waiting for him till I don’t know what Time at Night, as drunk as David’s Sow, he does nothing but lye snoring all Night long by my Side, and sometimes bespues the Bed too, to say nothing more.

Eu. Hold your Tongue:  You disgrace yourself in disgracing your Husband.

Xa. Let me dye, if I had not rather lye with a Swine than such a Husband as I have got.

Eu. Don’t you scold at him then?

Xa. Yes, indeed, I use him as he deserves.  He finds I have got a Tongue in my Head.

Eu. Well, and what does he say to you again?

Xa. At first he used to hector at me lustily, thinking to fright me with his big Words.

Eu. Well, and did your Words never come to downright Blows?

Xa. Once, and but once, and then the Quarrel rose to that Height on both Sides, that we were within an Ace of going to Fisty-Cuffs.

Eu. How, Woman! say you so?

Xa. He held up his Stick at me, swearing and cursing like a Foot-Soldier, and threatening me dreadfully.