He writhed himself forward in a passion of expectant desire, hearing his muscles crack in the effort.  Once more he relaxed himself; and the swift play of wordless acts began which he knew to be the very heart of prayer.  The eyes of his soul flew hither and thither, from Calvary to heaven and back again to the tossing troubled earth.  He saw Christ dying of desolation while the earth rocked and groaned; Christ reigning as a priest upon His Throne in robes of light, Christ patient and inexorably silent within the Sacramental species; and to each in turn he directed the eyes of the Eternal Father....

Then he waited for communications, and they came, so soft and delicate, passing like shadows, that his will sweated blood and tears in the effort to catch and fix them and correspond....

He saw the Body Mystical in its agony, strained over the world as on a cross, silent with pain; he saw this and that nerve wrenched and twisted, till pain presented it to himself as under the guise of flashes of colour; he saw the life-blood drop by drop run down from His head and hands and feet.  The world was gathered mocking and good-humoured beneath. “He saved others:  Himself He cannot save....  Let Christ come dozen from the Cross and we will believe.” Far away behind bushes and in holes of the ground the friends of Jesus peeped and sobbed; Mary herself was silent, pierced by seven swords; the disciple whom He loved had no words of comfort.

He saw, too, how no word would be spoken from heaven; the angels themselves were bidden to put sword into sheath, and wait on the eternal patience of God, for the agony was hardly yet begun; there were a thousand horrors yet before the end could come, that final sum of crucifixion....  He must wait and watch, content to stand there and do nothing; and the Resurrection must seem to him no more than a dreamed-of hope.  There was the Sabbath yet to come, while the Body Mystical must lie in its sepulchre cut off from light, and even the dignity of the Cross must be withdrawn and the knowledge that Jesus lived.  That inner world, to which by long effort he had learned the way, was all alight with agony; it was bitter as brine, it was of that pale luminosity that is the utmost product of pain, it hummed in his ears with a note that rose to a scream ... it pressed upon him, penetrated him, stretched him as on a rack....  And with that his will grew sick and nerveless.

“Lord!  I cannot bear it!” he moaned....

In an instant he was back again, drawing long breaths of misery.  He passed his tongue over his lips, and opened his eyes on the darkening apse before him.  The organ was silent now, and the choir was gone, and the lights out.  The sunset colour, too, had faded from the walls, and grim cold faces looked down on him from wall and vault.  He was back again on the surface of life; the vision had melted; he scarcely knew what it was that he had seen.

But he must gather up the threads, and by sheer effort absorb them.  He must pay his duty, too, to the Lord that gave Himself to the senses as well as to the inner spirit.  So he rose, stiff and constrained, and passed across to the Chapel of the Holy Sacrament.