if what Stertinius insists upon has any truth in it; from whom, being of a teachable disposition, I derived these admirable precepts, at the very time when, having given me consolation, he ordered me to cultivate a philosophical beard, and to return cheerfully from the Fabrician bridge.  For when, my affairs being desperate, I had a mind to throw myself into the river, having covered my head [for that purpose], he fortunately was at my elbow; and [addressed me to this effect]:  Take care, how do any thing unworthy of yourself; a false shame, says he, afflicts you, who dread to be esteemed a madman among madmen.  For in the first place, I will inquire, what it is to be mad:  and, if this distemper be in you exclusively, I will not add a single word, to prevent you from dying bravely.

The school and sect of Chrysippus deem every man mad, whom vicious folly or the ignorance of truth drives blindly forward.  This definition takes in whole nations, this even great kings, the wise man [alone] excepted.  Now learn, why all those, who have fixed the name of madman upon you, are as senseless as yourself.  As in the woods, where a mistake makes people wander about from the proper path; one goes out of the way to the right, another to the left; there is the same blunder on both sides, only the illusion is in different directions:  in this manner imagine yourself mad; so that he, who derides you, hangs his tail not one jot wiser than yourself.  There is one species of folly, that dreads things not in the least formidable; insomuch that it will complain of fires, and rocks, and rivers opposing it in the open plain; there is another different from this, but not a whit more approaching to wisdom, that runs headlong through the midst of flames and floods.  Let the loving mother, the virtuous sister, the father, the wife, together with all the relations [of a man possessed with this latter folly], cry out:  “Here is a deep ditch; here is a prodigious rock; take care of yourself:”  he would give no more attention, than did the drunken Fufius some time ago, when he overslept the character of Ilione, twelve hundred Catieni at the same time roaring out, O mother, I call you to my aid.  I will demonstrate to you, that the generality of all mankind are mad in the commission of some folly similar to this.

Damasippus is mad for purchasing antique statues:  but is Damasippus’ creditor in his senses?  Well, suppose I should say to you:  receive this, which you can never repay:  will you be a madman, if you receive it; or would you be more absurd for rejecting a booty, which propitious Mercury offers?  Take bond, like the banker Nerius, for ten thousand sesterces; it will not signify:  add the forms of Cicuta, so versed in the knotty points of law:  add a thousand obligations:  yet this wicked Proteus will evade all these ties.  When you shall drag him to justice, laughing as if his cheeks were none of his own; he will be transformed into a boar, sometimes into a bird, sometimes into a stone, and when he pleases Into a tree.  If to conduct one’s affairs badly be the part of a madman; and the reverse, that of a man well in his senses; brain of Perillius (believe me), who orders you [that sum of money], which you can never repay, is much more unsound [than yours].