As a neighboring funeral dispirits sick gluttons, and through fear of death forces them to have mercy upon themselves; so other men’s disgraces often deter tender minds from vices.  From this [method of education] I am clear from all such vices, as bring destruction along with them:  by lighter foibles, and such as you may excuse, I am possessed.  And even from these, perhaps, a maturer age, the sincerity of a friend, or my own judgment, may make great reductions.  For neither when I am in bed, or in the piazzas, am I wanting to myself:  this way of proceeding is better; by doing such a thing I shall live more comfortably; by this means I shall render myself agreeable to my friends; such a transaction was not clever; what, shall I, at any time, imprudently commit any thing like it?  These things I resolve in silence by myself.  When I have any leisure, I amuse myself with my papers.  This is one of those lighter foibles [I was speaking of]:  to which if you do not grant your indulgence, a numerous band of poets shall come, which will take my part (for we are many more in number), and, like the Jews, we will force you to come over to our numerous party.

* * * * *

SATIRE V.

He describes a certain journey of his from Rome to Brundusium with great pleasantry.

Having left mighty Rome, Aricia received me in but a middling inn:  Heliodorus the rhetorician, most learned in the Greek language, was my fellow-traveller:  thence we proceeded to Forum-Appi, stuffed with sailors and surly landlords.  This stage, but one for better travellers than we, being laggard we divided into two; the Appian way is less tiresome to bad travelers.  Here I, on account of the water, which was most vile, proclaim war against my belly, waiting not without impatience for my companions while at supper.  Now the night was preparing to spread her shadows upon the earth, and to display the constellations in the heavens.  Then our slaves began to be liberal of their abuse to the watermen, and the watermen to our slaves.  “Here bring to.”  “You are stowing in hundreds; hold, now sure there is enough.”  Thus while the fare is paid, and the mule fastened a whole hour is passed away.  The cursed gnats, and frogs of the fens, drive off repose.  While the waterman and a passenger, well-soaked with plenty of thick wine, vie with one another in singing the praises of their absent mistresses:  at length the passenger being fatigued, begins to sleep; and the lazy waterman ties the halter of the mule, turned out a-grazing, to a stone, and snores, lying flat on his back.  And now the day approached, when we saw the boat made no way; until a choleric fellow, one of the passengers, leaps out of the boat, and drubs the head and sides of both mule and waterman with a willow cudgel.  At last we were scarcely set ashore at the fourth hour.  We wash our faces and hands in thy water, O Feronia.  Then, having