absent friend; [nay more,] who does not defend, at another’s accusing him; who affects to raise loud laughs in company, and the reputation of a funny fellow, who can feign things he never saw; who cannot keep secrets; he is a dangerous man:  be you, Roman, aware of him.  You may often see it [even in crowded companies], where twelve sup together on three couches; one of which shall delight at any rate to asperse the rest, except him who furnishes the bath; and him too afterward in his liquor, when truth-telling Bacchus opens the secrets of his heart.  Yet this man seems entertaining, and well-bred, and frank to you, who are an enemy to the malignant:  but do I, if I have laughed because the fop Rufillus smells all perfumes, and Gorgonius, like a he-goat, appear insidious and a snarler to you?  If by any means mention happen to be made of the thefts of Petillius Capitolinus in your company, you defend him after your manner:  [as thus,] Capitolinus has had me for a companion and a friend from childhood, and being applied to, has done many things on my account:  and I am glad that he lives secure in the city; but I wonder, notwithstanding, how he evaded that sentence.  This is the very essence of black malignity, this is mere malice itself:  which crime, that it shall be far remote from my writings, and prior to them from my mind, I promise, if I can take upon me to promise any thing sincerely of myself.  If I shall say any thing too freely, if perhaps too ludicrously, you must favor me by your indulgence with this allowance.  For my excellent father inured me to this custom, that by noting each particular vice I might avoid it by the example [of others].  When he exhorted me that I should live thriftily, frugally, and content with what he had provided for me; don’t you see, [would he say,] how wretchedly the son of Albius lives? and how miserably Barrus?  A strong lesson to hinder any one from squandering away his patrimony.  When he would deter me from filthy fondness for a light woman:  [take care, said he,] that you do not resemble Sectanus.  That I might not follow adulteresses, when I could enjoy a lawful amour:  the character cried he, of Trobonius, who was caught in the fact, is by no means creditable.  The philosopher may tell you the reasons for what is better to be avoided, and what to be pursued.  It is sufficient for me, if I can preserve the morality traditional from my forefathers, and keep your life and reputation inviolate, so long as you stand in need of a guardian:  so soon as age shall have strengthened your limbs and mind, you will swim without cork.  In this manner he formed me, as yet a boy:  and whether he ordered me to do any particular thing:  You have an authority for doing this:  [then] he instanced some one of the select magistrates:  or did he forbid me [any thing]; can you doubt, [says he,] whether this thing be dishonorable, and against your interest to be done, when this person and the other is become such a burning shame for his bad character [on these accounts]?