Him whom pernicious lust, whom quick-dispatching dice strips, whom vanity dresses out and perfumes beyond his abilities, whom insatiable hunger and thirst after money, Whom a shame and aversion to poverty possess, his rich friend (though furnished with a half-score more vices) hates and abhors; or if he does not hate, governs him; and, like a pious mother, would have him more wise and virtuous than himself; and says what is nearly true:  “My riches (think not to emulate me) admit of extravagance; your income is but small:  a scanty gown becomes a prudent dependant:  cease to vie with me.”  Whomsoever Eutrapelus had a mind to punish, he presented with costly garments.  For now [said he] happy in his fine clothes, he will assume new schemes and hopes; he will sleep till daylight; prefer a harlot to his honest-calling; run into debt; and at last become a gladiator, or drive a gardener’s hack for hire.

Do not you at any time pry into his secrets; and keep close what is intrusted to you, though put to the torture, by wine or passion.  Neither commend your own inclinations, nor find fault with those of others; nor, when he is disposed to hunt, do you make verses.  For by such means the amity of the twins Zethus and Amphion, broke off; till the lyre, disliked by the austere brother, was silent.  Amphion is thought to have given way to his brother’s humors; so do you yield to the gentle dictates of your friend in power:  as often as he leads forth his dogs into the fields and his cattle laden with Aetolian nets, arise and lay aside the peevishness of your unmannerly muse, that you may sup together on the delicious fare purchased by your labor; an exercise habitual to the manly Romans, of service to their fame and life and limbs:  especially when you are in health, and are able either to excel the dog in swiftness, or the boar in strength.  Add [to this], that there is no one who handles martial weapons more gracefully.  You well know, with what acclamations of the spectators you sustain the combats in the Campus Marcius:  in fine, as yet a boy, you endured a bloody campaign and the Cantabrian wars, beneath a commander, who is now replacing the standards [recovered] from the Parthian temples:  and, if any thing is wanting, assigns it to the Roman arms.  And that you may not withdraw yourself, and inexcusably be absent; though you are careful to do nothing out of measure, and moderation, yet you sometimes amuse yourself at your country-seat.  The [mock] fleet divides the little boats [into two squadrons]:  the Actian sea-fight is represented by boys under your direction in a hostile form:  your brother is the foe, your lake the Adriatic; till rapid victory crowns the one or the other with her bays.  Your patron, who will perceive that you come into his taste, will applaud your sports with both his hands.

Moreover, that I may advise you (if in aught you stand in need of an adviser), take great circumspection what you say to any man, and to whom.  Avoid an inquisitive impertinent, for such a one is also a tattler, nor do open ears faithfully retain what is intrusted to them; and a word, once sent abroad, flies irrevocably.