“I want to know,” said I, “and particularly, Herbert, whether he told you when this happened?”

“Particularly?  Let me remember, then, what he said as to that.  His expression was, ‘a round score o’ year ago, and a’most directly after I took up wi’ Compeyson.’  How old were you when you came upon him in the little churchyard?”

“I think in my seventh year.”

“Ay.  It had happened some three or four years then, he said, and you brought into his mind the little girl so tragically lost, who would have been about your age.”

“Herbert,” said I, after a short silence, in a hurried way, “can you see me best by the light of the window, or the light of the fire?”

“By the firelight,” answered Herbert, coming close again.

“Look at me.”

“I do look at you, my dear boy.”

“Touch me.”

“I do touch you, my dear boy.”

“You are not afraid that I am in any fever, or that my head is much disordered by the accident of last night?”

“N-no, my dear boy,” said Herbert, after taking time to examine me.  “You are rather excited, but you are quite yourself.”

“I know I am quite myself.  And the man we have in hiding down the river, is Estella’s Father.”

Chapter 51

What purpose I had in view when I was hot on tracing out and proving Estella’s parentage, I cannot say.  It will presently be seen that the question was not before me in a distinct shape, until it was put before me by a wiser head than my own.

But, when Herbert and I had held our momentous conversation, I was seized with a feverish conviction that I ought to hunt the matter down — that I ought not to let it rest, but that I ought to see Mr. Jaggers, and come at the bare truth.  I really do not know whether I felt that I did this for Estella’s sake, or whether I was glad to transfer to the man in whose preservation I was so much concerned, some rays of the romantic interest that had so long surrounded her.  Perhaps the latter possibility may be the nearer to the truth.

Any way, I could scarcely be withheld from going out to Gerrard-street that night.  Herbert’s representations that if I did, I should probably be laid up and stricken useless, when our fugitive’s safety would depend upon me, alone restrained my impatience.  On the understanding, again and again reiterated, that come what would, I was to go to Mr. Jaggers to-morrow, I at length submitted to keep quiet, and to have my hurts looked after, and to stay at home.  Early next morning we went out together, and at the corner of Giltspur-street by Smithfield, I left Herbert to go his way into the City, and took my way to Little Britain.

There were periodical occasions when Mr. Jaggers and Wemmick went over the office accounts, and checked off the vouchers, and put all things straight.  On these occasions Wemmick took his books and papers into Mr. Jaggers’s room, and one of the up-stairs clerks came down into the outer office.  Finding such clerk on Wemmick’s post that morning, I knew what was going on; but, I was not sorry to have Mr. Jaggers and Wemmick together, as Wemmick would then hear for himself that I said nothing to compromise him.