So Jurgis found himself in a large hall, elaborately decorated with flags and bunting; and after the chairman had made his little speech, and the orator of the evening rose up, amid an uproar from the band—­only fancy the emotions of Jurgis upon making the discovery that the personage was none other than the famous and eloquent Senator Spareshanks, who had addressed the “Doyle Republican Association” at the stockyards, and helped to elect Mike Scully’s tenpin setter to the Chicago Board of Aldermen!

In truth, the sight of the senator almost brought the tears into Jurgis’s eyes.  What agony it was to him to look back upon those golden hours, when he, too, had a place beneath the shadow of the plum tree!  When he, too, had been of the elect, through whom the country is governed—­when he had had a bung in the campaign barrel for his own!  And this was another election in which the Republicans had all the money; and but for that one hideous accident he might have had a share of it, instead of being where he was!

The eloquent senator was explaining the system of protection; an ingenious device whereby the workingman permitted the manufacturer to charge him higher prices, in order that he might receive higher wages; thus taking his money out of his pocket with one hand, and putting a part of it back with the other.  To the senator this unique arrangement had somehow become identified with the higher verities of the universe.  It was because of it that Columbia was the gem of the ocean; and all her future triumphs, her power and good repute among the nations, depended upon the zeal and fidelity with which each citizen held up the hands of those who were toiling to maintain it.  The name of this heroic company was “the Grand Old Party”—­

And here the band began to play, and Jurgis sat up with a violent start.  Singular as it may seem, Jurgis was making a desperate effort to understand what the senator was saying—­to comprehend the extent of American prosperity, the enormous expansion of American commerce, and the Republic’s future in the Pacific and in South America, and wherever else the oppressed were groaning.  The reason for it was that he wanted to keep awake.  He knew that if he allowed himself to fall asleep he would begin to snore loudly; and so he must listen—­he must be interested!  But he had eaten such a big dinner, and he was so exhausted, and the hall was so warm, and his seat was so comfortable!  The senator’s gaunt form began to grow dim and hazy, to tower before him and dance about, with figures of exports and imports.  Once his neighbor gave him a savage poke in the ribs, and he sat up with a start and tried to look innocent; but then he was at it again, and men began to stare at him with annoyance, and to call out in vexation.  Finally one of them called a policeman, who came and grabbed Jurgis by the collar, and jerked him to his feet, bewildered and terrified.  Some of the audience turned to see the commotion, and Senator Spareshanks faltered in his speech; but a voice shouted cheerily:  “We’re just firing a bum!  Go ahead, old sport!” And so the crowd roared, and the senator smiled genially, and went on; and in a few seconds poor Jurgis found himself landed out in the rain, with a kick and a string of curses.