he hasn’t scored so much after all, and gone off in a huff, I expect.  So much the better!  What a time she is over this, and how quiet she keeps!  I wish I knew whether it was coquetry or—­shall I turn round and see?  No, I must be perfectly indifferent.  And she did laugh at me.  I distinctly saw her.  Still, if she’s sorry, this would be an excellent opportunity for—­(Aloud.) Miss PRENDERGAST! (No reply—­louder.) May I take it that you regret having been betrayed into momentary approbation of a miserable piece of flippancy?  If so, let me assure you—­(Turns round—­to discover that he is addressing two little flaxen-haired girls in speckled pinafores, who are regarding him open-mouthed. Miss PRENDERGAST and PODBURY have disappeared.) PODBURY again! He must have planned this—­with her!  It is too much.  I have done—­yes—­done with the pair of them! [Strides off in bitter indignation.

* * * * *

SCHOOL-BOY’S FIRST EXPERIENCE OF SMOKING.—­One sickarette,—­and he never could do another. O si sic omnes!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE!”]

* * * * *

“HOTEL ME, GENTLE STRANGER!”

[Mrs. WHEELER and Mrs. CUSTER, two literary ladies of New York, are starting a hotel for women only.]

  Says Mrs. CUSTER to Mrs. WHEELER: 
  “I propose we put out a ‘promoting’ feeler!”
  Says Mrs. WHEELER to Mrs. CUSTER,
  “Monopolist Males we shall greatly fluster;”
  ‘Hotel it not in Gath!’ at present
  Till we have made things nice and pleasant. 
  First rule—­’No Rules!’ O, of course male noddies
  Will snigger at once, the superior bodies! 
  But OSCAR WILDE must ‘pull up his socks,’
  Ere he’ll equal women at paradox. 
  What I mean is this, in our ‘Women’s Hotel,’
  We’ll have no such thing as the ‘Curfew Bell,’
  And no fixed hour for the cry, ‘Out lights!’
  We will give free way to true ‘Woman’s Rights,’
  Which are to thump, strum, tap, twirl, trill,
  From morn till night at her own sweet will. 
  That’s why we cherish, despite male spleen,
  Typewriter, Piano, and Sewing-Machine! 
  The ‘woodpecker tapping’ is, indeed, not in it
  With Emancipate Woman—­no, not for a minute! 
  Our Hotel will be, when we’ve won the battle,
  ‘The Paradise of unlimited Rattle,’
  ‘The Realm of the Spindle,’ ‘the Home of the Duster!’”
  Says Mrs. WHEELER to Mrs. CUSTER. 
  “Nought tabooed save Man!  So comes Peace the Healer!”
  Says Mrs. CUSTER to Mrs. WHEELER.
  Punch hopes their Hotel may flourish—­only,
  Spots “Reserved for Ladies” are often—­lonely!

* * * * *

THE GERMAN EMPEROR GOING NAP.—­It now appears that the words descriptive of NAPOLEON BUONAPARTE used by the German Emperor, and to which the French took so strong an exception, were not “Le parvenu Corse,” but “Le conquerant Corse,” which, of course, makes all the difference.  At this banquet it would have been better had each course been omitted from the menu.