“A croquette is a French society woman” . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 “I sat next to a Colonels wife” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 “Men hate to be watched while they are freezin” . . . . . . . . . 34 “I had a reputashun for a devil with the wimen” . . . . . . . . . 36 “It seemed to depres them awful” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 “If I catch one of those ailin enemies windin up your victrola” . 40 “Stuck my head out of the blankets” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 “When I looked in the tin mirror I thought I was starvin” . . . . 44 “They come round an watch you eat it” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 “Army food always runs” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 “He smokes cigarets something awful” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 “I poured some oil out of his lamp” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 “I even got mud in my hair” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 “The water comes through on me” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 “The last time I will take my pen in hand for you” . . . . . . . 58 “It wont be no use runin to the door” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

Dere Mable

Love Letters of a Rookie

Dere Mable:

I guess you thought I was dead.  Youll never know how near you was to right.  We got the tents up at last, though, so I got a minit to rite.  I guess they choose these camps by mail order.  The only place there flat is on the map.  Where our tents is would make a good place for a Rocky Mountin goat if he didnt break his neck.  The first day the Captin came out an says “Pitch your tents here.”  Then he went to look for someone quick before anyone could ask him how.  I wish I was a Captin.  I guess he thought we was Alpine Chasers.  Eh, Mable?  But you probably dont know what those are.

Honest, Mable, if Id put in the work I done last week on the Panamah Canal it would have been workin long before it was.  Of course there was a lot of fellos there with me but it seemed like all they did was to stand round and hand me shovels when I wore em out.

The Captin appresheates me though.  The other day he watched me work awhile and then he says “Smith.”  He calls me Smith now.  We got very friendly since I been nice to him.  I noticed none of the other fellos had much to say to him.  I felt kind of sorry for him.  Hes a human bein even if he is a Captin, Mable.  So every time I saw him I used to stop him and talk to him.  Democratic.  Thats me all over, Mable.  “Smith” he says “If they was all like you round here war would be hell, no joke.”  By which he meant that we would make it hot for the Boshes.

I been feelin awful sorry for you, Mable.  What with missin me and your fathers liver gone back on him again things must have been awful lonesome for you.  It isnt as if you was a girl what had a lot of fellos hangin round all the time.  Not that you couldnt have em, Mable, but you dont an theres no use makin no bones about it.  If it hadnt been for me I guess things would have been pretty stupid though I dont begrudge you a cent.  You know how I am with my money.  I guess you ought to anyway.  Eh, Mable?  Never talk of money matters in connexun with a woman.  Thats me all over.