Well I guess its time to say Mery Xmas now Mable.  I guess it wont be a very Mery Xmas withut me there, eh?  Cheer up cause Im goin to think of you whenever I get time all day long.  Im pretty busy nowdays.  I got to watch the men work.  It keeps a fello on the jump all the time.  I like it though, Mable.  Thats me all over.  Isnt it?

Dont send me nothin for Christmas, Mable.  I bought somethin for you but Im not going to tell you cause its a surprize.  All that I can say is that it cost me four eighty seven ($4.87) which is more than I could afford.  An its worth a lot more.  But you know how I am with money.  A spend drift.  So dont send me anything please although I need an electric flash light, some cigarets, candy an one of them sox that you wear on your head.  Ill spend my last sent on anyone I like but I dont want to be under no obligations.  Independent.  Thats me all over.

[Illustration:  “YOU PAINT A HORSE BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES”]

You might read this part to your mother.  I dont want nothin from her ether.

Rite soon an plain Mable, cause I dont get much chance to study.

     yours till the south is warm,
          Bill.

Your mothers present cost me three seventy seven ($3.77).

Joli Dame:

Dont get that confused with Tinkers Dam, Mable.  Tinkers Dam is tecknickle an aint even French.  I wish you knew more about these forin languiges.  I always herd a fello could express himself better in French than anything else.  Thats because nobody can understand him an he can say anything he wants.

The Christmas holidays is over.  I spent mine doin Kitchen police.  The only thing what pealed for me Christmas morning was potatoes an the only thing what rung out was dish cloths.  But I guess you aint familiar enough with the poets to get that, Mable.  It shows that I can be funny an bright though even under adversary conditions.  Kitchen police dont explain what I do very well.  I dont walk a beet or carry a club or arrest nobody or nothin.  I just—­well I wish that hired girl of yours could come down an do Kitchen police for a couple of days.  She wouldnt be quitten as regular as she does.

[Illustration:  “I SPENT MINE DOIN KITCHEN POLICE”]

[Illustration:  “I WISH THAT HIRED GIRL COULD COME DOWN”]

We celebrated Christmas by sleepin till a quarter to seven instead of hap past six.  Only they forgot to tell the fello what blows the horn an he blew it at hap past six anyway.  Imagine if anybody home had told me I could sleep till a quarter of seven Christmas morning.  I guess you know what Id a told him, eh, Mable?

Theres a fello in town what says he’ll send flowers anywhere you want by telegraph.  I was goin to send you some for Christmas morning.  Then I figgered it was a silly idea.  In the first place theyd get all smashed on the way.  An then you cant get enough flowers in one of them little envelopes to make one good smell.  Nothin if not right.  Thats me all over, Mable.