***

Attention has been called to the waste of time and money involved in the calling of grand juries where there are only one or two trifling cases to be tried, and it is suggested that they might be able to combine their juridical functions with some useful employment.  A correspondent who signs himself “Lifer” points out to us that the grand jurymen he has met are just the men the nation needs for the Tribunals if the combing-out process is to be effectual.

***

A man who was to have appeared before the Law Society Tribunal excused himself on the ground that he was suffering from melancholia, and regret was expressed by the military representative that he should have been misinformed as to the nature of the entertainment.

***

The admission of a Stuttgart professor that trousers are a German invention has given the liveliest satisfaction to our Highland regiments, who have long had an intuitive feeling that the Hun was guilty of even blacker crimes than those of which we had been officially informed.

***

A “Longer Course for Cadets” is announced by a morning paper.  The Food Controller is to be asked to make public his reasons for this obviously unfair discrimination between soldiers.

***

Men’s wear, it is reported, will be twenty-five per cent. dearer this year than last, but a good example in economy is rumoured to have been set by a well-known actor manager, who now only wears a crease in one leg of his trousers.

***

A burglar who broke into a Manchester wine stores made off with a large sum of money, but none of the wine was taken.  This once again proves that total abstinence is absolutely essential to business success.

***

Consternation has been caused among the pessimists (who have declared that this will be a long War) by the recent statement of M. Louis RABOURDIN, the French scientist, that in five thousand years the world will be uninhabited.

***

A solicitor has been arrested in Ireland under the Defence of the Realm Act for refusing to give away the confidential correspondence of his client.  The suggestion that a lawyer should be required to give away anything has aroused a storm of indignant protest in both branches of the profession.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Lady (who has been damaged by motor-car).  “I SEZ to the Shover, I SEZ, ’you may ’Ave an English NIME, but your CONDUCK’S TOOTON.’”]

* * * * *

“Argentine meat shipments.

    The only shipment of mutton to the Continent during the week
    was 18,000 quarters of beef to France.”—­Sheffield Daily
    Telegraph.

Even the oxen in neutral countries are feeling a little sheepish.