I waited patiently for a further fourteen days, and then sent Follow-up Letter No. 5.

This letter was quite brief.  It made no attempt to disguise the fact that I was hurt at the firm’s silence, and it hinted at enquiries from other employers of labour whose needs would have to be considered.  It intimated also that I could not possibly hold myself at the firm’s disposal indefinitely, and that unless a prompt reply was received I could not guarantee acceptance.  By way of a crushing suggestion of niggardliness on their part I enclosed a stamped addressed envelope.

An answer came by return of post as follows:—­

DEAR SIR,—­In reply to your letter, we beg to say that the vacancy to which you refer was filled some ten (10) weeks ago.

Yours faithfully, etc.

Now I know where I am.  Without this persistence, which is the essence of the following-up business, I should simply be where I am without knowing it.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Lady Cynthia (showing wounded Tommies the ancestral portraits).  “AND THIS IS THE FIRST EARL IN FULL FIGHTING KIT.”

Tommy.  “HE’S GOT HIS IDENTIFICATION DISC ALL RIGHT, MA’AM.”]

* * * * *

BACCHUS AT THE FRONT.

Extract from a speech by the KAISER as reported by The Sun (Vancouver, B.C.):—­

“The campaign ... had been conducted according to the brilliant plans of Field-Marshal von Hindenburg....  The old god of bottles directed.  We were his instruments and we are proud of it.”

* * * * *

“Among some of the best-informed bankers in the City the view taken in this respect is one which it may be well for the public at large to have repeated for their own guidance.  The new War Loan, they say, will either be the last before the Allies impose on the enemy their own terms of peace, or it will not.”—­The Times.

We had already formed the same opinion, but we are glad to have it confirmed on such high authority.

* * * * *

    “Barrow magistrates decided that Ideas must not be sold
    after the closing hour.”—­Daily Sketch.

Unfortunately this will not prevent the bore from continuing to give you his gratis.

* * * * *

Demand—­

    “Elderly English Girl wanted as companion to young lady for
    afternoon.”—­Egyptian Gazette.

and supply—­

    “The age limit for Girl Guides was formerly 18 years, but it
    has now been raised to 81 years by general request.”—­British
    Paper.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Tommy.  “SOMETHIN’ TO DHRINK, IF YE PLAZE, MISS.” Helper.  “CERTAINLY.  WILL YOU HAVE TEA OR COFFEE?”