“Rest assured, Wilson, that I will never marry Jack Belllounds. It seems years since that awful October first. I gave my word then, and I would have lived up to it. But I’ve changed. I’m older. I see things differently. I love dad as well. I feel as sorry for Jack Belllounds. I still think I might help him. I still believe in my duty to his father. But I can’t marry him. It would be a sin. I have no right to marry a man whom I do not love. When it comes to thought of his touching me, then I hate him. Duty toward dad is one thing, and I hold it high, but that is not reason enough for a woman to give herself. Some duty to myself is higher than that. It’s hard for me to tell you—for me to understand. Love of you has opened my eyes. Still I don’t think it’s love of you that makes me selfish. I’m true to something in me that I never knew before. I could marry Jack, loving you, and utterly sacrifice myself, if it were right. But it would be wrong. I never realized this until you kissed me. Since then the thought of anything that approaches personal relations—any hint of intimacy with Jack fills me with disgust.
“So I’m not engaged to Jack Belllounds, and I’m never going to be. There will be trouble here. I feel it. I see it coming. Dad keeps at me persistently. He grows older. I don’t think he’s failing, but then there’s a loss of memory, and an almost childish obsession in regard to the marriage he has set his heart on. Then his passion for Jack seems greater as he learns little by little that Jack is not all he might be. Wilson, I give you my word; I believe if dad ever really sees Jack as I see him or you see him, then something dreadful will happen. In spite of everything dad still believes in Jack. It’s beautiful and terrible. That’s one reason why I’ve wanted to help Jack. Well, it’s not to be. Every day, every hour, Jack Belllounds grows farther from me. He and his father will try to persuade me to consent to this marriage. They may even try to force me. But in that way I’ll be as hard and as cold as Old White Slides. No! Never! For the rest, I’ll do my duty to dad. I’ll stick to him. I could not engage myself to you, no matter how much I love you. And that’s more every minute!... So don’t mention taking me to your home—don’t ask me again. Please, Wilson; your asking shook my very soul! Oh, how sweet that would be—your wife!... But if dad turns me away—I don’t think he would. Yet he’s so strange and like iron for all concerning Jack. If ever he turned me out I’d have no home. I’m a waif, you know. Then—then, Wilson ... Oh, it’s horrible to be in the position I’m in. I won’t say any more. You’ll understand, dear.