The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 09, No. 51, January, 1862 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 354 pages of information about The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 09, No. 51, January, 1862.

The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 09, No. 51, January, 1862 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 354 pages of information about The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 09, No. 51, January, 1862.
Bersides, I couldn’t do no else; Miss S. suz she to me, “You’ve sheered my bed,” [Thet’s when I paid my interdiction fee To Southun rites,] “an’ kep’ your sheer,” [Wal, I allow it sticked So’s ’t I wuz most six weeks in jail afore I gut me picked,] “Ner never paid no demmiges; but thet wun’t do no harm, Pervidin’ thet you’ll ondertake to oversee the farm; (My eldes’ boy is so took up, wut with the Ringtail Rangers An’ settin’ in the Jestice-Court for welcomin’ o’ strangers";) [He sot on me;] “an’ so, ef you’ll jest ondertake the care Upon a mod’rit sellery, we’ll up an’ call it square; But ef you can’t conclude,” suz she, an’ give a kin’ o’ grin, “Wy, the Gran’ Jury, I expect, ’ll hev to set agin.”  Thet’s the way metters stood at fust; now wut wuz I to du, But jest to make the best on’t an’ off coat an’ buckle tu?  Ther’ ain’t a livin’ man thet finds an income necessarier Than me,—­bimeby I’ll tell ye how I fin’lly come to merry her.

  She hed another motive, tu:  I mention of it here
  T’ encourage lads thet’s growin’ up to study ‘n’ persevere,
  An’ show ’em how much better ‘t pays to mind their winter-schoolin’
  Than to go off on benders ‘n’ sech, an’ waste their time in foolin’;
  Ef ‘t warn’t for studyin’, evening, I never ‘d ha’ ben here
  An orn’ment o’ saciety, in my approprut spear: 
  She wanted somebody, ye see, o’ taste an’ cultivation,
  To talk along o’ preachers when they stopt to the plantation;
  For folks in Dixie th’t read an’ write, onless it is by jarks,
  Is skurce ez wut they wuz among th’ oridgenal patriarchs;
  To fit a feller f’ wut they call the soshle higherarchy,
  All thet you’ve gut to know is jest beyund an evrage darky;
  Schoolin’ ‘s wut they can’t seem to stan’, they’re tu consarned
          high-pressure,
  An’ knowin’ t’ much might spile a boy for bein’ a Secesher. 
  We hain’t no settled preachin’ here, ner ministeril taxes;
  The min’ster’s only settlement ’s the carpet-bag he packs his
  Razor an’ soap-brush intu, with his hymbook an’ his Bible,—­
  But they du preach, I swan to man, it’s puf’kly indescrib’le! 
  They go it like an Ericsson’s ten-hoss-power coleric ingine,
  An’ make Ole Split-Foot winch an’ squirm, for all he’s used to
          singein’;
  Hawkins’s whetstone ain’t a pinch o’ primin’ to the innards
  To hearin’ on ’em put free grace t’ a lot o’ tough old sin-hards!

But I must eend this letter now:  ’fore long I’ll send a fresh un;
I’ve lots o’ things to write about, perticklerly Seceshun: 
I’m called off now to mission-work, to let a leetle law in
To Cynthy’s hide:  an’ so, till death,

Yourn,

BIRDOFREDUM SAWIN.

* * * * *

OLD AGE.

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 09, No. 51, January, 1862 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.